Shatter the Vase
by Ship's Cat
Summary: Great changes are in store for O'Shannon, changes that will lead to trouble - and something more for the Barkley family!



    
    
     Dust cover jacket courtesy of Tina
    
    
    ** SHATTER THE VASE
    by
    Gail Gardner**
    _You may break, you may shatter the vase, if you will,
    But the scent of the rose will hang around it still.
    -Thomas Moore, Irish Melodies 1807_
    The Barkley family had discovered that Jamie O'Shannon a young man who had
    a way with horses was in actual face Alanna O'Shannon a woman who had spent
    the last ten years or so of her life dressed and acting like a boy.
    The discovery had been more complicated by the accidental death of Alanna's
    beloved horse Rosebud. Stricken by the loss of her last link to a happy
    childhood and a long gone family, and the revelation of her close held secret by
    Barkley's had unnerved the normally ebullient O'Shannon.
    Nick had carried a silent, muddy, waif into the house. Victoria and Audra had
    helped her undress and into a bath.
    Victoria had kept up a gentle monologue carefully trying to bring the young
    woman out of her silence.
    "I'm sorry about your horse." She began and handed her a bar of soap. "Shall I
    leave you to clean up? I'll bring a warm towel and something to wear. Audra has
    some nightgowns that will fit you."
    "Thank ye Mrs. Barkley. I appreciate the hot bath." Was the soft polite reply.
    There was much Victoria wanted to say, much she thought she should say, but
    now was not the time. As she closed the bathroom door she considered the
    reactions from Belle Sommerfield in comparison to those of Alanna O'Shannon.
    Belle had screeched and whined and ended up flouncing off to her room for a
    theatrical bout of hysterics that was ignored by everyone. Jamie, no Alanna
    O'Shannon, had taken her pain in silence, painful silence.
    For two days the house had been like someone had died. For a while, Victoria
    was afraid that the lively Irish O'Shannon was lost forever along with her horse.
    Belle Sommerfield was packed off to her family in San Francisco as soon as was
    decently possible. Victoria, herself had seen that the young woman had left in
    good time and with as few ripples as possible.
    Putting Alanna into skirts was a challenge that Victoria approached with
    determination. Trousers and shirts just were put aside and if Alanna wanted to
    wear them still, she wasn't given the opportunity. Once dressed as a woman
    there was no real change, she didn't automatically become more beautiful even
    believable as a woman. The cowboy that moved gracefully with horses, who
    danced and dodged like a fancy bullfighter, the person who would stand up to
    her sons defiantly disappeared and in place was a pale, clumsy, silent person
    with no personality.
    "I feel like I am doing something wrong." Victoria confessed to her oldest son
    Jarrod.
    "She'll be all right Mother." Jarrod said comfortingly. "It was just too many
    shocks at once. I'll have a little talk with her, okay? I know Heath has tried and
    Nick just looks like a mother hen that has discovered a duck in her brood."
    Victoria had to smile. Her usually boisterous and outspoken middle son had
    been rather thoughtful about the change from wrangler to woman. He kept
    looking at Alanna as if he couldn't believe his eyes.
    Jarrod was working rather late in the study when he heard the familiar creak on
    the stairs. The family had all learned that the third step from the bottom always
    squeaked and was to be avoided in the case of stealthy escapes. Waiting for it,
    he heard the slight snick and click of the front door opening and closing quietly.
    He got up with a sigh. He suspected that this was coming. They all did.
    Jarrod left the house followed the escapee out to the barn. Alanna stood
    staring at the horses.
    "You can take one of the regular stock if you want." Jarrod said quietly.
    The young woman turned quickly at the sound of his voice. She was dressed in
    her old trousers and shirt.
    "But you don't have to go. It would be nice if you stayed for a while." He said
    calmly and sat on a small box near the door. He casually clasped an arm around
    one knee. "Give yourself a little time to try things out before you make a hmmm
    hasty decision." He eyed O'Shannon carefully. "You can stay here as long as you
    like."
    "Ye'll not make me go, " She swallowed nervously. " - to that other place."
    "What place?" Jarrod frowned slightly.
    "Michael said if I was ever found out that people would say I was bad and that
    the only place fer women of that sort was...ye know...that kind of place."
    Years of being a lawyer kept Jarrod's face smooth of emotion. "Michael was
    wrong." He said quietly and firmly. "You haven't done anything wrong, either in
    how you had to survive or how you continue. What would be a shame would be
    to have the chance to be the young woman you are without trying."
    "I liked to think that Michael cared enough to protect me from...that....but ye're
    right. He lied and I believed him. I didn't want you to send me away. I thought if
    I left first" She paused, " I suppose ye think I'm foolish for believing in such
    things at my age."
    Jarrod stood up slowly and walked towards Alanna who with the first spark of
    life she had shown in the last couple of days kept her ground. "No. Not foolish.
    Just young and let's face it unexperienced. But, this is a safe place to learn.
    We'd like you stay."
    "I appreciate it, Mr. Barkley. I - I would like to stay." Her eyes met his with a
    directness and honesty that he found appealing.
    "Well come on then. Let's go in before Mother catches us."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Yet, it was Nick who had found the key to returning Alanna somewhat to her
    usual buoyant self. He had offered Alanna her old job back as wrangler.
    Although Victoria was initially against it, the effect was obvious. The
    compromise made learning feminine ways easier to swallow. Little by little Alanna
    O'Shannon began to come out of her shell.
    Victoria was quietly pleased to see that of all the family members Audra and
    Alanna seemed to be the closest. Audra, herself quite a tomboy at times, went
    out of her way to make Alanna feel more and more comfortable as herself in a
    feminine way. She wasn't going to unlearn the habits of almost ten years of her
    life overnight, but if it were up to Audra she'd do it in a month.
    Audra enjoyed being with Alanna, it had not taken long for the two young
    women to become firm friends. Their first common ground had been their
    mutual experiences with big brothers. The second, their experiences with
    Audra's big brothers in particular. They both agreed that it was particularly
    unfair that the men didn't include them in all their fun and activities. Even
    though some of those past times seemed rather useless and questionable in
    entertainment value.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Victoria smiled warmly at the lively scene at the dinner table. It was a welcome
    change from the semi-silent meals that had been the norm since the family had
    first discovered that Jamie O'Shannon a young man hired on as a horse
    wrangler was actually Alanna O'Shannon a young woman.
    The table conversation had been interesting, touching on Jarrod's latest case,
    the coming drive of the herd to winter pastures and the new dresses the
    women folk had bought recently. Dinner time was never boring.
    "Well blue and pink are a welcome change from gray and brown." Alanna
    declared honestly. "Not that ye don't look good in them colors." She apologized
    to the men dressed in gray and brown. Heath grinned widely and brushed a few
    non-existent crumbs off his blue shirt.
    "What was the hardest thing you had to learn as a boy?" Audra asked daringly.
    She neatly avoided the warning look her mother gave her.
    "Well," Alanna looked thoughtfully at her dinner plate. "I suppose learning to
    spit." She raised her head to look around the dinner table when her comment
    provoked silence. "You know it just runs down yer chin until ye get the hang of
    it. Looks awful foolish. Took me months of practice. I'm not half bad at it..." Her
    eyes met Victoria's disapproving stare and she dropped them with a sigh to her
    plate again, her appetite suddenly gone. Was there anything she could do right
    anymore?
    "Huuhmmmfff." A strangled noise seemed to come from Nick. It was followed by
    a more refined, but definite snort from Jarrod. Heath was valiantly trying to
    stifle some comment into his napkin.
    "Boys..."Victoria's own lips twitched in sympathy, but she was trying to turn
    Alanna into something resembling a lady, it wouldn't help if the men of the
    family were not helping. She was undone by her own daughter, supposedly a
    veritable paragon of womanhood, who burst into laughter. "Oh my! Spitting!"
    This set off the whole family who broke into laughter.
    The fine supper was turning to acid in Alanna's stomach, she felt sick. If all they
    were going to do was criticize her and laugh at her, then to blazes with being a
    woman, or being here and having Nick and them laugh at her. A hand on her
    shoulder stopped her from a quick flight. Heath was grinning at her, but there
    was no malice. He winked at her.
    "Hey remember when we had that spitting contest when we were kids?" Jarrod
    was laughing at Nick. "You were the odds on favorite until you lost your front
    tooth."
    "Yeah!"Nick smiled. "No matter how hard I tried, more ended up on my shirt
    than on the ground, not to speak of hitting the target."
    " If I remember it was Whistler Willy who won." Jarrod said chuckling. "Who had
    the unfair advantage of a gap between his front teeth."
    Victoria chuckled suddenly. "Your father once tried to teach me to spit. He
    assured me it was the only way to tell if the frying pan was hot enough for
    making griddle cakes."
    "Mother!" Audra said, "You mean all those years you've been making us griddle
    cakes..."
    "Don't worry dear, I did learn to spit, but not into griddle cake pans..." Victoria
    raised a mobile eyebrow and smiled knowingly at Alanna who answered with her
    own pale smile.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Alanna looked at herself in the mirror. The blue dress was certainly pretty. The
    silk was just the color of her eyes and made them seem large and bright. The
    obligatory corset and an uncountable amount of camisoles, bloomers,
    petticoats and shifts gave a little more bulk to her usual slim figure. No amount
    of padding was going to give her a decent bosom, but she wasn't flat as a
    board either. The long sleeves hid muscles and gave her arms a soft round
    look. The lace even covered her hands that had Audra running for creams and
    other picks and small instruments of torture. Her unruly black curls had been
    coaxed off her face revealing to Mrs. Barkley's amusement a pair of small
    slightly pointed ears.
    "You must be part leprechaun." She had laughed, not at all unkindly. "You
    have a very sweet face."
    Alanna imagined herself posed at the head of the long stairway, below her the
    family were waiting. There would be a polite murmur of surprise. Jarrod would
    kiss her hand and say something nice. My, Miss O'Shannon you are looking
    very elegant today.' Heath would just grin, but there would be a look of
    admiration and maybe a whispered Boy Howdy' in her ear. Can I take you for
    a stroll in Mother's rose garden?' Nick would ask and she would go with him
    and he would bend closer, and, and -
    "Miss O'Shannon!" Silas called from behind the door interrupting the delicious
    daydream.
    She opened it to find not only Silas, but a very agitated Ciego. "Pardon
    Miss..."Ciego looked extremely disturbed. "It's the mare, she has begun to
    foal, but there is something wrong..." He looked almost apologetically at Silas.
    "I think you better have a look."
    Alanna didn't hesitate but bolted out of the door and even beat Ciego to the
    front door. Running in the long skirt was a skill she hadn't learned yet and she
    heard a rip but neatly avoided a headlong fall.
    The mare, one of the Barkley's top breeder's, was definitely in trouble. Her
    coat was sweaty and legs splayed out and head down. Her eyes were rolling
    wildly and she was trembling.
    "Sah, sah, easy m'darling." Alanna ran her hands expertly along the horse's
    flanks and distended belly.
    "How long has she been like this?" The question was sharp, but tone soft as
    Alanna soothed the distressed mare.
    "Billy said she was all right this morning..."
    "Billy barely knows which end of the horse to feed and which end to clean up
    after." Alanna murmured sourly. It had taken some fancy talking to convince
    Mrs. Barkley that she could still work with the horses. If she had been in the
    barn minding them instead of getting fancied up...The thought was interrupted
    by the mare's distressed whinny.
    "Ciego, I'll need a bucket of soapy water, a length of soft rope and a pot of
    grease. I think the foal is in breech, backwards. I'll have to try to turn it. Oh,
    and send a rider for Heath. I'll be needing some help."
    Alanna tried manipulating the foal outside the womb, but the mare was so
    gone in labor that there was very little space to work. Without a thought, she
    ripped off her sleeve and lathering her arm with soap and grease she put her
    hand up the mare's birth canal in an attempt to turn the foal. The mare's
    contractions were at first weak, but as she tucked the small hooves in some
    order they became stronger. Her arm often became painfully pinched. Gritting
    her teeth she managed to find the foals head. Hooking her fingers in it's
    mouth she began to shift it slowly.
    It seemed that it was only moments when she heard Heath's and Nick's voices
    to her relief.
    "Breech?" Heath asked and began to help in the turning by pressing on mare's
    flanks.
    "I canna turn it." Alanna panted and rubbed her forehead with her free arm.
    "I'll need the rope." She pulled her arm out with some effort.
    Heath made a loop in the soft rope. "What do you want me to do?"
    "Stand by her flank and tell me when the contractions are coming. Nick..." She
    threw a look at him. "I'm not sure if I can save the foal and I may loose the
    mare too."
    "You'll do your best. What do you want me to do?" He watched her fold the
    rope in her hand and without any squeamishness plunge her arms into the
    bloody mess that was the result of the mare's efforts to give birth.
    "I may need you to help pull..." She tried to wipe her hair out of her eyes. Nick
    took off his own neckerchief and tied it over her head. "Thanks, Nick. That
    helps."
    "She's pushing..."Heath warned holding the mare, who found the energy to
    prance uneasily. Nick wrapped his arms around Alanna's waist as she was
    staggering off balance. "Now Nick, pull steady." Both the mare and Alanna
    groaned with the effort. It was Nick's added strength and pulling around her
    waist that eventually coaxed the foal out of the womb. They were rewarded by
    the hindquarters of the foal as it slid out. They watched fascinated, Nick with
    his arms tightly around Alanna, as the rest of the baby horse slid out of the
    birth canal.
    "All right, baby."she crooned. "Show us ye can live." She rested her hands
    over Nick's strong arms as they held so tight and safe. Holding her breath
    waiting for the foal to show some signs of life, she could hear and feel Nick's
    breath on her ear and neck.
    The mare gave a low nicker and nudged the foal. It raised it's head wobbily and
    stared around owlishly. Then with the miracle given to horses, it unfolded it's
    seemingly impossibly spindly legs and lurched to it's feet.
    "It's a filly!" Heath said happily and looked over to his brother who was not
    looking so much at the newborn horse and it's dam, but the slim, bedraggled
    female in his arms.
    "Isn't she beautiful?" Alanna said happily and turned her face up to Nick. He
    had a strange expression on his face, one she had never seen before. He was
    staring at her as if something was wrong...
    "Oh dear..."she breathed out, "My dress, Mrs. Barkley will kill me." She pulled
    out of Nick's hold and picking up skirts unbecomingly high dashed for the
    house.
    "Boy Howdy Nick. That was pretty close." Heath said patting the mare's neck
    as she nuzzled the foal who was already looking for it's first meal. "If it hadn't
    been for Alanna we would have lost the mare and the foal. She's right though,
    Mother is not going to be too pleased."
    Nick picked up the blue satin sash that had once adorned what might have
    been a pretty dress. He absentmindedly rolled it up around his hand. "Yeah,
    well I'll see if I can set it right with Mother."
    Setting things right with Mother seemed a little difficult as he didn't see the
    two until dinner. Whatever had passed between the two seemed over and
    done with. Victoria seemed more bemused than angry and if Alanna was more
    quiet than usual, well as far as Nick was concerned it was a welcome change
    from her rather forthright opinions.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    She was standing on a box looking over the walls of the loose box at the new
    foal and its dam. Nick leaned companionably next to her, his height not needing
    a box to stand on.
    "You thought of a name for her yet?" He asked her.
    "She's your horse." Alanna said briefly.
    "Wouldn't be here without you. You can name her." He paused gauging her
    mood. "Rosebud?"
    "Heavens Nick, I was 11 when I named Buddy." She snorted. "I have a bit more
    sense now. Though yer mo- Mrs.Barkley seems to wonder. I suppose ye think I
    was daft this afternoon too."
    "You did what was needed Alanna and I am glad, no proud of what you did." He
    put his hands on her shoulders and turned her towards him. Even though she
    was standing on the box he was still a good few inches taller than her.
    "But that's just it."she said bitterly. "I am still being Jamie, I'll never get the
    hang of being female. I feel...oh I don't know what I feel. I can't do this, I
    shouldn't do that. Ladies should be ladies. Ye can't make a silk purse out of a
    sow's ear."
    "Well no, but you can make a nice leather pouch. You are still you, Alanna, you
    just have to learn some new things."
    "What if I don't like it?" She looked up at him her dark brows drawn together in
    a tight knot.
    "Give it some more time, you'll find that there are some really nice things about
    being female."
    "Hah. I have yet to find one. The corsets pinch, ye can't walk proper,
    Mrs.Barkley won't let me sleep in the barn with the horses..."
    "You aren't allowed to spit." Nick grinned at her, his hands gently rubbing her
    shoulders.
    "You laughing at me Nick Barkley?" She looked at him suspiciously, but her
    expression had lightened.
    "Me?" He smiled again. Any other woman would be simpering or responding to
    his touch. She was world-weary and wise and at the same time innocent as
    babe-in-arms.
    "Aye, you." a small smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. "I did look a
    sight, serves me right for thinkin' I could look pretty..."
    "Pretty." Nick looked at her that funny way he had when the filly had been born.
    "Pretty." He repeated. "No...I don't think pretty would describe you." Taking
    advantage of her open mouthed shock he pulled her into a kiss.
    Alanna hands rose of themselves to rest on his warm chest. His mouth was so
    warm, so inviting on hers. It was nothing like she had imagined kissing to be. It
    was like falling off a horse and never hitting the ground. Was this how he kissed
    Belle? How he kissed Lily? How he kissed everything that moved within his range
    in skirts...? Alanna felt a cold hand squeeze her heart. Nick was supposed to be
    her friend, now he was just treating her like Belle, the stupid chicken brained
    female, or worse did he expect her to be like Lily? Tears of rage and betrayal
    stung her eyes as her body wouldn't let her stop the kiss. Oh God, it felt so
    good. When Nick himself ended the tender assault on her mouth she managed
    to pull away.
    "Ye shouldn't have...I don't want..."She raised her hand to her tender lips and
    glared at Nick. "You shouldn't have done that Nick Barkley.." With that she
    jumped off the box and ran out of the barn.
    "Damn, damn, damn."Nick muttered and hit the side of the loose box with his
    fist. He'd rushed her too fast, but she was so inviting and he could have sworn
    that she had enjoyed the kiss.
    Audra and Alanna stood giggling in the corner of the barn watching the
    festivities. It was just a Saturday night dance, but for the girls it was a chance
    to show off pretty dresses and dance on the arm of a gallant cowboy. Audra
    was immediately besieged by numerous young men of her acquaintance. She
    carefully introduced them all to her friend and soon Alanna was also being called
    on to dance. A new young lady was a scarce commodity in the west and not to
    be overlooked even though there had been some strange gossip about her
    origins.
    The Barkley boys relaxed a little, they had been carefully coached by their little
    sister to ask Alanna to dance if none of the local gallants had enough
    intelligence to ask her. They began to find partners of their own.
    Some of Alanna's dance partners had the bad grace to ask rather pointed
    questions or make innuendos about her past, but she deftly avoided any
    potential sticky situations. Heath had a quiet talk to her about how to avoid the
    worse and Boy Howdy, not to lose her temper.
    "I promise not to lose my temper, no matter what they say about me."She had
    promised solemnly and he knew she would keep that promise.
    "You can come to any of us if some fellow is bothering you." Heath added.
    "I can take care of myself, you know."
    "That's what I'm afraid of. Look Alanna, you gotta let us handle that sort of
    thing."
    "But why, if I can take care of things for myself?"
    "Boy Howdy, it's just how things are. Ask Mother. She'll tell you." Heath
    retreated in confusion.
    Victoria was able to illumine things a little better, but it was still confusing to the
    independent Alanna.
    "Men need to protect women. While my boys are around you don't need to fight
    for yourself. It isn't ladylike." Victoria felt like biting her own tongue. She herself
    had occasion to be less than ladylike' and had not regretted it. By
    overemphasizing the point with Alanna she hoped that some of it would stick.
    As the evening progressed and some of the young bucks slipped out back more
    and more often for a little nip of the homemade', the dancing, the flirting and
    the insults became more loose.
    A few of the men who had flirted with her earlier were now almost leering. When
    she failed to rise to their baiting, they tried harder. Soon, there was nothing
    more that Alanna wanted to do than to leave. What they wanted was some sort
    of reaction, but she'd promised Heath not to lose her temper. The dancing had
    been fun, but now she was tired of trying to be polite to someone who was
    obviously trying to insult her. Escaping the crowd, she found a quiet spot
    around the back corner of the barn. Unfortunately, others had found the spot
    also.
    Alanna never found out the cause for the altercation, but when she saw two
    men ganging up on one she instinctively stepped in.
    Luckily the two were rather drunk so a few well placed shoves and shouts
    routed the two.
    The victim, happy to be rid of his tormentors, turned a thoughtful eye on his
    rescuer. He recognized the young woman with the questionable past that the
    Barkley's had taken under their wing.
    "My dear lady," He said and bowed with an incredible grace and before Alanna
    could react, he kissed her hand gallantly. "I am at your service."
    "Ah, well..."Alanna found herself in a situation that Audra and Mrs.Barkley had
    failed to explain about.
    The man smiled. He had the kind of smile that made a person smile back. "I am
    Henry Cliplet." He bowed again. "And you of course are a princess who just
    happened to be passing by?"
    "No." Alanna laughed. "Not at all. I'm Alanna O'Shannon." She sketched a
    curtsey dredged up from something her mother had taught her long, long ago.
    "Protest all you want fair lady. I know a princess when I see one. But that is all
    right, your secret is safe with me."
    "Alanna? What's going on here?" Heath had noticed the girl's absence and had
    started looking for her discretely."You aren't in any trouble?" He asked
    suspiciously.
    "No fear, sir. Two drunken miscreants were being a nuisance and I happened to
    be here to save the young lady from an embarrassing situation." Henry smiled
    toothily.
    Alanna took one look at Heath's rather peeved expression and decided that if
    Heath wanted to believe Henry Cliplet she wasn't going to say anything to the
    contrary.
    "Well, thanks for looking out for her. We put a great deal of store by Miss
    O'Shannon." Heath made it clear to the young man just who was protecting
    whom.
    "But of course, and such a charming young lady. I do believe they are still
    dancing. My lady?" Henry crooked an arm to the bemused Alanna who took it as
    a good excuse to escape Heath's penetrating looks.
    "Now ye have rescued me." Alanna said forthrightly. "Heath means well, but
    well..." Alanna broke off, not quite sure what she wanted to say to this
    courteous stranger.
    "Some men just don't realize how strong a woman can be." Henry murmured
    sympathetically. "My own mother has been nothing but a pillar of strength since
    my own father died some years ago. I appreciate a woman like that, like you, my
    dear princess." He then swung her out onto the dance floor into a sweeping
    waltz.
    "Well it seems our Alanna has made a conquest." Victoria remarked to Jarrod.
    "Do you know the young man?"
    "Nice enough fellow. He and his mother have a small ranch about an hour's ride
    from us. The mother inherited the old Persson place about two months ago."
    "Oh he'd be Gretl Persson's son then." Victoria had a vague memory of the
    woman who had left home to marry some twenty years earlier.
    "Cliplet. Hmm Henry Cliplet. Kinda under his mother's thumb though." Jarrod
    said half bemused as he watched Alanna laugh at something the young man
    said. He got a sharp elbow in his ribs from his mother.
    "Not that, that is bad thing you know. Dance, Mother?" He bowed gallantly.
    "You sure you don't want to be called a Mama's boy?" Victoria teased as he led
    her out onto the dance floor.
    "My dear lady! I will demand it!" Jarrod laughed.
    In the end, Alanna was rather satisfied by the dance, though she and Audra
    laughed like crazy at some of Henry Cliplet's comments.
    "The man must be blind or daft. But he seems all right." Alanna confessed.
    "You can only believe half of what men say to you." Audra advised wisely from
    her advantage of vast experience. "And then what they do say is so ridiculous.
    "Why Miss Audra you look as pretty as heifer today." Audra drawled in low
    voice.
    Henry Cliplet took advantage of their brief meeting to show up rather often at
    the Barkley's.
    "He shows up around meal time." Nick said sourly. "Ya'd think he could eat at
    home for once."
    "He seems harmless enough Big Brother." Heath said, "And he sure makes
    Alanna happy. I mean I haven't heard her laugh so much since, well since
    when."
    "Yeah. I know." Nick glowered even more. Poor Henry had to endure the whole
    meal with Nick glaring at him.
    His mother caught him looking through the curtains as Alanna saw the man off
    to his buggy.
    "Nick!" Victoria's voice rose to a warning note.
    "Just makin' sure he knows how to behave himself." Nick growled. Alanna was
    so unexperienced with men in that way. Just look how she had fallen into his
    kiss, so soft and defenceless. A man like Cliplet could have his way with her all
    to easily. His lips curled into a grim look.
    Victoria noticed her son's expression and it dawned on her that Nick was
    jealous. Oh dear, this was a complication.
    "I hope you've talked to her Mother. You know about protecting herself." Nick
    took it upon himself to lecture his mother.
    "Yes dear." His mother returned rather acidly. "You just be careful too!"
    "Who me?" Nick's face was that of innocence personified. They were interrupted
    by Alanna coming back into the house. She stopped and eyed the two who tried
    not to look guilty.
    "He said good night. Kissed me hand. Said he'd see me soon. All right?" She
    raised an eyebrow and flounced up the stairs.
    "Well?" Audra pounced on her and drew her into her room. "What did he say?"
    "We-ell" Alanna drew out the word and tried to look reluctant.
    "Did he kiss you?"
    "Just me hand again. I'm gonna start gettin' callouses there." Alanna looked
    critically at the small hand that had very little feminine grace to it. Long nails
    were just not practical in ranch work.
    "Yes. So what did he say?"
    "Me eyes are like dark pools. My hair is like silk, I be as pretty as a
    heifer?"Alanna teased.
    "Oh you." Audra huffed. "You have no romance in your soul."
    "Sure I do. Ye want to hear how me Da and Mum met. Tis fair romantic."
    "Really? Tell me." Audra and Alanna settled comfortably on the bed for a chat,
    something they had fallen into the habit of doing.
    "Me Da's family had always been horsemen and breeders as far back as we can
    remember. But Granddad had been ousted from his farm by the English
    landlords, so they had to tenant. My Da, he had the gift of the horse and the
    folk would come to him with their sick horses or for him to train them. Even the
    vet would quietly send horses to Da. The Squire now was a real English Lord
    with lots of beautiful horses that he was always racing. "
    "He had a beautiful daughter." Audra interrupted.
    "Who's telling this story? Aye. He had a beautiful daughter, the Lady Deirdre
    James. My second name really is James, but it is after her maiden name. Any
    ways, the Lady was mad for horses and was always riding about the
    countryside. Well, one day she took a fall from her horse. She weren't hurt but
    the fine mare was badly hurt. It grieved her to loose her, so she took it to me
    Da. They fell straight in love, though Da said it took a while for her to accept it.
    She was a stubborn woman."
    "Is that where you got your stubbornness from?"
    "Oh, I suppose so, but me Da, now he was the real stubborn one. He kept
    courtin' mother until she said yes. Then he had to convince her father. He was
    having none of it, until Mum told him that she was with child by my Da. Well,
    the Squire said that the only cure for a woman without honor was a quiet
    wedding or a quick funeral. As he did love his daughter. Da and Mum got the
    wedding, but on the condition that they move here to America. I think it fair
    broke their hearts to leave Ireland and all their family, but they were that in
    love. Of course, Mum had a fair dowry, two fine horses to start Da's own farm
    and her jewels. I remember playing with them as a little girl. My but they were
    bright and shiny! Da used to have a fine picture of Mum as a lady, all dressed
    up in silk and jewels. He burnt it when she died."
    "Oh you are right, that is so romantic. I hope someday I meet a man like that
    and fall in love." Audra sighed.
    "Ye ever been in love Audra?"
    "Well, yes, I thought I was,." Audra grimaced, "several times."
    "What's it like?"
    "Well, sometimes it is so nice. Like floating all day somewhere above the earth.
    Nothing else seems real. But..."Audra paused, "Sometimes it hurts. Especially if
    you aren't sure if he likes you as much as you like him. Or if he just likes you
    because you are Miss Audra Barkley, the rich Audra Barkley."
    "Oh aye, the rich Audra Barkley with three big mean brothers." Alanna snorted.
    "My brothers aren't mean. Well, Nick looks mean a lot and Jarrod can get pretty
    threatening. Heath is the one to look out for. He's got a quiet way about him,
    but is just as bad as Nick when he gets angry or worse. Weren't your brothers
    like that?"
    "Well, I was just a scrawny child when they left. No need to beat off men.
    Matter of fact they used to tease me that I'd need a big dowry to get married at
    all."
    "How mean!"Audra exclaimed.
    "Oh I know I'm not beautiful. Me mother, now there was someone beautiful. She
    had long red wavy hair all the way down her back. She could sit on it. She had
    beautiful green eyes and skin like peach. I look like me Da, unfortunately."
    "Girls!" Victoria stuck her head through the door. "Don't be up all night with
    your talking."
    "Yes Mother."
    "Yes Mrs. Barkley."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    All too true to his word, Henry showed up the next day suspiciously around
    lunchtime.
    "Hello my princess!" He greeted her cheerfully although she had on a rubber
    apron and was liberally splattered from head to toe with some foul-smelling
    concoction. "I've come to sweep you away from this mundane world and take
    you to paradise."
    "Oh Henry." Alanna wiped her dirty hands on her trouser legs rather
    ineffectually as the jeans were just as filthy "I appreciate the thought , but I
    have a lot of work." Somehow, she felt extremely awkward with him seeing her
    in men's clothes and covered with horse medicine.
    "Oh princess! Forget about the work! Come for a drive with me. My mother
    made us a delightful picnic and we can sit by the river and talk." Henry smiled
    at her.
    "I'm sorry, but I can't. I'm in the middle of drenchin' the horses and I promised
    the boss I'd get the work done today."
    "That Barkley is a terrible ogre." Henry's voice was a little peevish. "Making my
    princess do that horrible work."
    "Well it tis me job. And although drenchin' isn't what ye call pleasant, it must
    be done. Mebbe some other time?" Alanna looked at him hopefully.
    "Tomorrow?" Henry asked.
    "Got hay to stack for winter and" Alanna stood hipshot and counted off on her
    fingers the work. "Gonna bridle break a few new foals too. Ah...mmm...Friday?"
    "Alas, I must attend Mother on Friday's. It is her turn to host the Ladies Aide
    and she likes me to help out."
    Alanna shrugged helplessly. "Ye could go to the house and see if Audra's free
    for a picnic. I don't think she has anything to do today." Alanna tried to
    remember if Audra was at the orphanage or doing some housework with her
    mother. She and Audra both agreed that housework was just as tough as any
    ranch work and never, ever seemed to be done!
    "I'll just have to rescue you some other day." Henry said dramatically but
    wisely did not try to kiss her hand that was reeking with horse medicine. "Until
    then my beauty."
    Alanna took a few moments to wave the man away. "Beauty." she snorted to
    herself and then set back to work without a second thought.
    The Barkley's were given some odd looks in the following week. Not only that,
    but malicious gossip began to travel around Stockton.
    "I think it is shameful, the way they use that poor child. It's slavery." One
    woman told another.
    "Really! And with Audra sitting like a pampered doll doing nothing. I cannot
    believe that Victoria Barkley would stoop so low." The other lady said in voice
    meant to be low, but carrying to the other women nearby.
    Among the men in the saloons, the gossip was a little more earthy, but gossip
    just the same.
    "I hear the Barkley's don't let no other men near her. Keepin' the filly for
    themselves I reckon." This was followed up with a nudge and leer to his
    buddies.
    "Not too pretty, mind you, but in the dark..." This led to more leers and
    drunken giggles.
    A group of civic minded ladies decided that they should perhaps look into the
    matter for themselves and took themselves to the Barkley Ranch for a surprise
    visit. By kind happenstance Alanna was not covered in horse muck or dirt, but
    had been doing the weeks wash with Audra. Both girls were a little wet and
    bedraggled when Silas came to tell them that some ladies had come to call and
    Victoria wanted them both in the parlor.
    "Oh bother." Audra said, "We'll never get this done today. I've got to go to
    the orphanage tomorrow and help can peas too!"
    "Oh I'll do the rest tomorrow. I've done all me work for the next two days, but
    don't ye be tellin' Nick." She grinned at Audra.
    "Cause he'll just find more for you to do. I know," Audra's eyes rolled in
    sympathy, "Mother does the same thing to me!" The girls went arm and arm
    up the back staircase to change their clothes. Within a fair amount of time
    both were dressed in demure cotton dresses and came into the parlor
    together. They presented a pretty picture of young womanhood, faces shining
    with health and good nature.
    "Sorry we are late mother. We were doing the wash." Audra said and took a
    seat on one of the parlor's settees. Alanna smiled at the company shyly and
    took a seat. Some of the ladies seemed disappointed that Alanna was dressed
    in normal clothes, with no difference between her dress and Audra's in quality
    or fabric.
    Tea was passed around and small cakes admired and eaten before the ladies
    got down to business.
    "I hear young Henry Cliplet has been seeing you." One lady ventured to
    Alanna.
    "Oh yes, he has been very kind to show me some of the nicer parts of the
    countryside." Alanna wasn't too sure where this was leading.
    "Yes, too bad you have to work so much. A pity when a girl cannot see a nice
    young man when she wants to."
    Victoria's ears caught the inference immediately and her head came up
    scenting trouble.
    "Oh I see him plenty of times. More than I really need to actually." Alanna said
    truthfully.
    "Alanna enjoys the same freedoms and responsibilities as Audra does. She is
    like another daughter in my house." Victoria said with a fighting glint in her
    eye. She didn't like the way this conversation was going.
    Alanna blushed at Victoria's statement about her being another daughter.
    "Well, I'm sure that is so. We just wanted you to know that we didn't believe
    for one moment that you were making this child do hard physical labor and
    refusing to let her see her young man." A forthright woman laid the cards on
    the table.
    "The Barkley's have been nothing but kindness to me, and if I can do any little
    thing to repay them then I will even if I have to work hard. As for Henry, he is
    a friend, not me young man." Alanna flared up.
    "Alanna." Victoria gave the girl a warning glance.
    "Why that's the silliest thing in the world. Alanna and I have plenty of
    housework and she does do work with the horses, but all we have to do is ask
    and we have plenty of time for sewing and riding and just having fun." Audra
    said and put an arm around Alanna.
    "Well, you see, just odd gossip. How funny how these stories get around."
    Someone said apologetically.
    "Yes, and just how long until they die away because they are not true."
    Victoria said in a cutting voice.
    Heath considered it fairly lucky that he caught the rumors floating around the
    saloons before Nick did. Nick would have probably done more damage. Not
    that Heath regretted the eyes he blacked and the bloody nose he got. It was
    bad enough to have your own reputation slandered in the town, but Alanna
    and his family were completely innocent of any of those claims.
    "Now boys." Heath wiped the blood from his face as he faced his destruction.
    "I think that'll put an end to that rumor. Miss O'Shannon is a guest in our
    house. If I hear a breath of any scandal connected to her or my family you'll
    really get me mad. I wouldn't want that. Would you?"
    Various nods and groans answered his question.
    "Now be thankful it was me and not my big brother handling this, some of you
    wouldn't be walking away from this so easy." He tossed some dollars to the
    bartender. "Here's for the damages."
    Only Victoria got some semblance of a story out her youngest son when she
    approached him with her pot of liniment for his cuts and bruises.
    "Just a scrap in town, Mother. Owww! Dang it that hurts worse than before."
    "Uh huh. Now if it was Nick I would believe you. A week without a fight of some
    kind is a poor kind of week for him. But I know you don't fight unless you have
    to."
    "Now Mother, " Heath protested as she slathered some of the nasty goo onto
    his knuckles. "I took care of it."
    "Heath Barkley. Took care of what?" Victoria's eyes narrowed. "Are they talking
    about you and your father again."
    "No it isn't me..." Heath then sighed realizing that he'd walked into this one.
    "Well, then it might be about Alanna and our family keeping her as a slave in
    the barn." Victoria ventured.
    "Boy Howdy, Mother, how do you do that?" Heath looked at her in amazement.
    "I'm a mother, I know these things. Plus we had a delegation of the good
    ladies from town to see if there was any truth to the story. They were rather
    disappointed not to find Alanna chained to the muck heap."
    "Who would spread stuff like that? Alanna? She seems happy enough
    nowadays, especially with that Cliplet feller hangin' around." Heath flexed his
    knuckles experimentally, the liniment while smelling foul was already doing the
    trick.
    "Maybe young Henry has the answer to that question." Victoria mused. "He
    seems personable enough, but..."
    "I know, he just doesn't sit right. I think I'll just keep an eye on him." Heath
    said with a glint in his eye that didn't bode well for Henry Cliplet.
    Henry took matters into his own hands by an invitation from his mother to
    have tea with them on Sunday after church.
    Alanna had dressed carefully in one of her best dresses, a dainty rose colored
    dress that made her look all of sixteen, instead of a mature lady of twenty.
    The Barkley's gave her an approving nod, but Henry waxed effusive.
    "You look just like an angel." Once out of sight of the church he took his
    opportunity to give Alanna a kiss. The first real kiss he'd ventured up until
    now. Here he was stealing Alanna right out from under the Barkley's noses.
    Just a few words in the right ears and hints dropped at the Ladies Aide
    meeting had been enough to ensure that he had a free hand with Alanna
    O'Shannon.
    His lips were cold and slobbery. They pressed uncomfortably hard on hers and
    Alanna wasn't sure she liked it. Her mind flashed to Nick's kiss and a warmth
    flooded her. Henry took her blushes to be encouragement and would have
    pressed further, but Alanna firmly held him off.
    He congratulated himself on her natural shyness and he knew that she and
    Mama would get along very well, after all they were so alike.
    The Cliplet ranch must have been a nice one at one time. Now only the house
    looked well-looked after with neat regimented flower beds and stiff curtains in
    the windows. Alanna was looking at all the work that needed to be done in and
    around the barn, Fences were down, hay was all over the yard. The horses
    looked ungroomed. She wondered that Henry spent so much time with her
    when he had so much work to do. Her thoughts were broken by Henry lifting
    her down from the buggy to introduce her to his mother.
    She looked like a sweet lady. Slightly plump with rosy cheeks and sparkling
    blue eyes. Her hair was a crown of brown ringlets with hardly a streak of gray
    to show age. One might say that her mouth was a bit small but she also
    smiled a lot.
    "So you are Miss O'Shannon." She held out a soft white hand to Alanna. "My
    son has been speaking of you." The voice was musical and light and the words
    my son' were spoken as reverently as one may speak in a hymn of praise. "I
    hear he was quite the hero. My Henry is so gallant to the less fortunate." She
    laughed.
    "Well actually, " Alanna began to explain what had really happened at the dance
    and then at Henry's little cough of interruption she stopped and looked at him.
    He winked.
    "Now Mama it was just a little thing. Please don't make much of it."
    "But my boy, you defending poor Miss O'Shannon against that mob."
    Mrs.Cliplet patted her son's cheek. "You were so lucky not to get hurt. You
    know how that upsets me."
    "T'was only two drunk cowboys, hardly a mob." Alanna carefully corrected.
    "And they could hardly stand up straight much less hurt a fly." She was sure
    that this information would soothe Henry's Mama.
    "That's not what my son told me." The sweet little old lady disappeared for a
    moment and someone not so kind, not so nice, not so sweet was there. Then
    the mask came back.
    "Now Mama. Alanna is probably confused and upset about what happened that
    night. But let's forget about it. I'm sure you would like to show her your
    porcelain collection."
    "Whatever you say dear. You are right as usual. Come my dear. We'll leave
    Henry to his business and you can come to my parlor and see my treasures."
    "But," Alanna began, more interested in looking at horses than bits of china.
    "Go with my Mama."Henry smiled charmingly.
    The parlor was a dark, overcrowded room with a mishmash of grand furniture
    and lurid embroidered pillows and tatted antimacassars. Even the floral rug had
    the fringe neatly combed straight. Alanna was given to sit on a decidedly
    fashionable, but very uncomfortable red velvet chair. She was made to admire
    a myriad of ugly porcelain figurines. Most were of coy shepard esses and leering
    shepherds or sick looking dogs. Fortunately, among the dross were a few fine
    pieces.
    "My Mrs. Cliplet, this is Meissen." Alanna turned the little yellow duck in her
    hands reverently.
    "Mice son?" The lady looked confused. "It's a duck."
    "No, Meissen. See the crossed swords on the bottom. That's their mark. This
    little piece is probably worth more the rest of your collection."
    "Oh?" The not so nice face flickered. "And how do you know?"
    "Oh my mother had a few pieces. She would let me play with them and she
    would tell me about the fine things her family had in their house."
    "I understood that your family were horse traders."
    "Oh Aye, before the war we were one of the largest and best breeders of
    horses in Nevada."
    "You shouldn't say words like that." Mrs. Cliplet said in a what sounded
    suspiciously like a hiss.
    "What words?" Alanna said innocently.
    "Breeding." She whispered.
    "Oh. Well it is different with horses ye know. Stallions and mares, not people."
    The sound of a sharp slap echoed around the stuffy parlor.
    "I was willing to overlook the gossip for dear Henry's sake, but I will not
    tolerate foul language in my house. Such brashness is not becoming in a
    female. That is if you are really a woman." The sweet Mrs.Cliplet had totally
    disappeared leaving Mrs. Cliplet the viper in her place.
    Alanna sat with her hand to her red cheek. For a demure old lady, she could
    pack a wallop.
    "And as for this Mice son piece, I think you don't know anything about fine
    porcelain. Anyone can see that it is only a plain piece, while this bowl is much
    the prize." She waved a hand towards and extremely ugly and ornate bowl
    decorated with cherubs, rosebuds, and highly gilded. "My late husband, Harold,
    told me that he paid $100 for it!"
    Alanna bit back a hasty retort. The viper noticed it with eyes narrowed down to
    slits.
    "Gypsies were you? With that curly black hair and dark skin, one can always
    tell."
    "There was traveller blood in our family. Very proud of it are we." Alanna's
    spine stiffened.
    Mrs. Cliplet gathered her treasures closer about her. "We'll have tea in the
    kitchen." She said frostily and rose to her feet.
    "Mrs.Cliplet I'd rather not share a crust a bread with such an ill-bred besom as
    yerself." Alanna rose up to her full height which was a few inches short of
    Mrs.Cliplet's.
    The hand rose for another roundhouse slap, but Alanna stepped back neatly.
    The slap unfortunately swept the ugly bowl off the table to land on the floor in
    several large pieces.
    "Ohhh my treasure!" Mrs. Cliplet howled.
    "What is going on here?" Henry came in.
    "She broke my treasure." The viper was suddenly a sweet lady again. Tears
    sparkled delicately. "And...no I'll not say bad of a person you think highly of."
    "Now no one is more important to me than you dear Mama." Henry gushed
    and turned a baleful eye towards Alanna.
    "She broke it herself. "
    "My Mama doesn't lie." Henry said sternly gathering his Mama protectively into
    his arms.
    "No more than you do." Alanna said. "Mob of cowboys indeed. Two drunks and
    it was me who rescued you."
    Like Mother, like son. The slap took her by surprise, only instead of stinging
    her cheek it knocked her against a table full of ugly china dogs. Some teetered
    and fell with a chinking crash.
    "My treasures. She broke my treasures!" Mrs. Cliplet wailed and pulled on her
    son's arm. "Take it away from here before she burns the house down around
    us."
    Henry took Alanna's arm in a tight grip and began to hustle her out of the
    house.
    "You little ungrateful tramp, after all I've done for you..."He hissed, showing
    the family resemblance to the viper.
    "Take yer hands off me." Alanna pulled at him.
    "Not till I get my payment. Do you think I was really in love with a creature like
    you? I'll just take what's mine..." He leaned forward for a sloppy kiss. Alanna
    slammed a fist into his soft belly and followed it with a crashing uppercut.
    "Bastard. And a son of a bitch." She said succinctly. "And I am not swearing.
    I'll see meself home." With a swirl of her skirts she left Henry doubled over on
    his front porch and Mrs. Cliplet mourning her broken bits of cheap china.
    The Cliplet's ranch was a good ten miles from the Barkley ranch as the crow
    flies. Like most cowboys and horsemen, Alanna hated walking. Why walk when a
    horse would take you where you wanted to go? She was also wearing the
    fashion dictated ladies boots which were fine for a few hours promenade on city
    streets or visiting, but not ten miles over fields, scrub lands and other nasty
    terrain. After two hours she gave up trying to keep the dainty dress she had
    worn to impress Henry and Mrs.Cliplet whole and concentrated on getting back
    to the Barkley's before dark.
    Her hand kept going involuntarily to her cheek where both mother and son had
    struck her. It had felt numb at first, now it seemed to throb with every step.
    "Don't think about it. Michael used to hit ye even harder." She said aloud to
    herself. "Oh Lord, please let me learn to control me temper. But the besom was
    right nasty, too. Oh dear."
    It was a footsore Alanna, who at dusk, tried to slip in unnoticed. Victoria was
    just coming from the kitchen when she caught sight of a dust covered Alanna
    trying to quietly go up the stairs.
    "Alanna." She called out. "We weren't expecting you so soon."
    "I left early." Alanna said not turning around.
    "Alanna?" Victoria's voice rose. "Turn around."
    Alanna gave a big sigh and turned. Victoria took in her dishevelled state and her
    eyes widened when she saw the scarlet handprint on the girl's face.
    "Are you in trouble?"
    "Aye. I'm afraid so Mrs. Barkley." She dropped her face and whispered, "I lost
    me temper and called Mrs. Cliplet a besom. But not for insulting me," She added
    hastily. "She said nasty things about me family."
    Victoria sighed, "Go and clean up. We'll have supper in an hour. It'll be just the
    two of us. Then you will tell me everything."
    "Yes ma'am." Alanna said unhappily.
    Victoria sat quietly through the whole story that Alanna told after dinner. "I sort
    of lied about the dance, too." She finished quietly.
    "I'll send Jarrod over tomorrow to settle things." Victoria said.
    "D'ye think I'll be needing a lawyer body." Alanna said in horror. "I don't want to
    make trouble for ye. I can leave." She half got up from the table.
    Victoria smiled. "No, it's because if Nick or Heath went they would beat Henry to
    a pulp. I can count on Jarrod to restrain himself. Nobody hurts one of us and
    gets away with it."
    "But, I'm not a Barkley. I'm jest a nobody. Ye've done so much for me, and I
    repay ye by getting into trouble."
    "My dear, as long as you are with us, you belong to our family. As for trouble,
    well no more than any of my children and I know you don't do it deliberately."
    Victoria soothed the distraught young woman. "A Meissen duck, did you say? I
    wonder how she came by it?"
    "Probably as a bonnet." Alanna murmured to herself, thinking of her discussion
    with Suzy in Alameda.
    Audra came bouncing into Alanna's room later to get the latest report on her
    visit to see Mrs. Cliplet. She found her friend nursing a wet compress to a
    bruised face.
    "What on earth?" Audra took away the hand holding the compress. "Who hit
    you Alanna? I'll scratch their eyes out." she said grimly showing that not only
    the men in the Barkley family could get angry.
    "Henry Cliplet and his mama showing the likes of me where I belong."
    "Nonsense!" Audra exclaimed in a tone remarkably like her mother's. "They
    merely revealed their own lack of breeding and manners."
    "Oh dear, breeding." Alanna laughed weakly as laughing hurt. "According to
    Mama Cliplet breeding' is a bad word."
    "Hmmpph." Audra remarked acidly. "Does Mother know? Oh of course she does.
    What about the others?"
    "She'll be sending Jarrod over to the Cliplet's to raise the devil'. I suspect she'll
    be telling Nick and Heath when they get home. I think I'll go to bed early."
    Alanna put the rag into the bowl and touched her own cheek gingerly. It hurt
    more inside than it did out, but she wasn't about to make a fuss. It was bad
    enough already.
    "They came home with me. They'll be mad as hops." Audra's words were no
    comfort.
    "I try to stay out trouble, really I do Audra." Her explanation was cut short by a
    familiar voice from downstairs.
    "SHE DID WHAT?!" Alanna and Audra both flinched as they heard Nick's bellow
    from the library. The door was slammed open and they heard Nick take the
    steps two at a time as he pounded up the stairs.
    "He's gonna kill me." Alanna said and bounced to her feet.
    "He wouldn't." Audra said hopefully.
    Nick barged into the room and went straight to Alanna. His eyes were brimming
    with anger. "Did you hit Henry Cliplet? Twice? And called him a bastard and a
    son of a bitch.?"
    "Y-yes." Alanna thought she might as well get the punishment over quick.
    "Good! He deserved that and more." Then to Alanna's great surprise and
    Audra's delight he kissed her gently on the bruised cheek. "I'm sorry I wasn't
    there to protect you. Forgive me?"
    He loved it when he caught her by surprise. She was just asking to be kissed
    again with her mouth open and her eyes wide and wondering. The kiss was just
    getting interesting when he heard Audra's nervous giggle.
    He cleared his throat and then grinned at a very astonished Alanna. "Behave
    yourself." He touched the cheek again lightly and reluctantly tore himself away.
    Both girls heard him clomp his way noisily down the staircase.
    "Alanna!" Audra jumped up and hugged the still stunned girl. "He really likes
    you! Isn't that great?"
    "He ah, does a little I suppose." Alanna didn't know which to touch first, the hot
    cheek or her burning lips.
    "And how do you feel about Nick?" Audra wasn't quite expecting a direct
    answer, but she got one.
    "I love him. I think I always have. Oh dear." She plopped down in a chair and
    looked forlorn. "Yer right Audra, it does hurt sometimes and feels grand at
    others. What do I do?" The question was more to herself, but Audra scrunched
    her face in thought.
    "Don't worry. I'll think of something."Audra got a calculating look in her eyes
    that her family had learned to be wary of.
    The Barkley men were almost infuriatingly overprotective for the next week.
    Heath and Nick wouldn't let her go into town without either Victoria or Audra in
    attendance and one of them to snarl effectively at those unwise enough to
    remember rumors or idle gossip.
    Alanna herself, was too bemused and caught up in her emotions about Nick to
    complain about being treated like a fine breakable doll. When she had reached
    some point of awareness, she was already in the habit of letting herself be
    helped down from carriages, having chairs held for her and doors opened.
    Victoria began to relax a bit, apparently her teachings were sinking into the
    young woman. She began to think a little treat, like a visit to San Francisco
    with the girls would be nice. Alanna still tended to be rough on her dresses
    and would benefit from the cultural amenities.
    Heath and Nick had their own means of cheering up Alanna, who seemed a bit
    too quiet at times. Nick had even tried to pick a fight with her and had only got
    a hurt look for his efforts.
    "I felt like I had just kicked a puppy." Nick confessed to his brother as they
    were currying their horses after a hard day of rounding up cattle for the drive
    to winter pastures next week.
    "Boy Howdy Nick, even I know that you don't fight with a girl to get her
    interest." Heath looked in exasperation at his older brother.
    "I wasn't trying to get her interest, just kinda cheer her up. You know how she
    loves to disagree with me or you. I just thought she'd enjoy it." Nick grumped.
    "That darn Henry..."
    "Ya figure he started the rumors." Heath said scratching Charger affectionately
    on the nose.
    "Yeah. I'd like to bash his face in and rearrange things."
    "Jarrod took care of it." Heath laughed. "Mother sent him to because she
    figured he'd take things calmly. He still has bruised knuckles from pounding
    Cliplet into clay."
    Both brothers chortled, satisfied that the lawyer had meted out justice. Hitting
    women wasn't a smart thing to do, especially someone under the Barkley
    protection.
    The sound of a horse trying to kick in the stable walls got their attention.
    "It's that darned black." Heath shook his head. The scarred horse had been
    easily broken to saddle, but had a myriad of bad habits, like kicking and biting
    that made him a difficult horse. The only rider who the black seemed to have
    some modicum of respect for was Alanna and she had to keep an eye on him
    constantly to keep from being bitten.
    "We might as well shoot him. He'll never be a good remuda horse." Nick
    rubbed his own shoulder reflectively. He'd ridden the black but had got a
    shoulder full of horse teeth for his trouble.
    "That'll make Alanna mad. She likes that devil."Heath said in sympathy. He had
    barely missed being kicked by the wiley animal just the other day.
    "Well then she can have him." Nick grumped and then his face became
    thoughtful. "Hey, why don't we give Alanna that horse."
    "Oh yeah a biting, kicking, bad-tempered cowpony in the place of a perfect
    roan gelding." Heath said sarcastically but also looked thoughtful. "Then again
    she likes you, a biting, kicking , bad-tempered boss. So, not much difference."
    Nick threw the curry comb at his brother's head. "C'mon she'll appreciate the
    challenge."
    "Exactly. Just like you." Heath said succinctly and got a brush to go with the
    comb.
    Their gift went down very well with Alanna who immediately gave the startled
    horse a hug and named him Blackjack. Nick would have liked the hug for
    himself, but was pleased by her happy reaction.
    _She was hanging off the gate letting it swing gently back and forth with her
    own weight. The train came in around noon, even with the war, the railroad
    still ran pretty much on time. Even if they stopped off for a drink at the saloon
    or for a chat with the townsmen they would be here by sunset. They had
    promised. O'Shannons always kept their promises.
    She twitched her long braid back off her shoulder. Most of the time the long
    hair was an annoyance, but Mum and Da said a woman's crowning glory was
    her hair. Mum's hair was crowning glory, her's was a briar patch thick and curly
    and always attracting burrs and leaves and other bits. Yet, when she sat in
    front of the evening fire and Mum brushed her hair while Da read to them she
    loved the way it flowed and curled around her mother's loving, gentle hands.
    A cloud of dust in the distance made her rise up on her toes. Then they were
    there, sweeping down the road, just like she imagined them! Liam and Andrew
    were bent low over their horses necks, racing to see who would be first. Sean
    was singing hymns at the top of his beautiful tenor voice red hair flowing off
    his face like a halo of light.
    "Hello!" She waved her hand vigorously causing the gate to swing widely,
    "Here I am!" The horses and riders thundered by her without a word or a
    glance.
    "Hey!" She shouted after them. "Ye forgot me! Come back!" She hopped down
    and began to run after them.
    Sean reined in his horse and looked back. He pointed behind her. She turned
    and there was a large house with people she didn't know standing in front of it.
    It wasn't their low sprawling ranch house at all.
    "Don't come after us Alanna. Follow your heart." She heard his voice say to
    her. When she turned to look they were gone. She was standing in a strange
    field with the wind blowing around her ruffling her short hair. "Come back!"
    She cried. "Ye left me behind!"
    "Follow...your...heart..." The wind blew the words around her._
    Alanna woke with a start, her heart pounding. "Come back." She whispered and
    buried her face in the soft pillow hugging it to herself for comfort.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Victoria rubbed her forehead wearily as she spread some thick leaves over the
    roots of her beloved roses. Most of the blooms had begun to wither and drop
    off leaving the garden a colorless place. Autumn was always a bit dreary in the
    garden. She looked up gratefully as Alanna brought her a wheelbarrow of
    fertilizer.
    "Here you go Mrs. Barkley! All good prime stuff from the bottom of the muck
    heap! Where would you like it?"
    Victoria sat back on her heels and smiled at the cheerful young woman. She was
    dressed in jeans and a bright flannel shirt with a blue scarf around her neck. Her
    black curls were flying everywhere free in the wind. "Well if you can help me
    spread it around the roots of the bushes." She didn't know too many people,
    much less young women who were cheerful about a wheelbarrow of ripe, aged
    horse manure.
    "Sure!" The young woman took a pair of sturdy gloves out of her back pocket
    and set to work next to Victoria. "Ye know, " She said after a few moments, "Me
    Mum would have killed to have a garden like this. No matter how hard she tried,
    roses jest wouldn't grow."
    "Was the soil wrong?" Victoria asked.
    "Must have been. I remember her trying all kinds of roses. Da would bring home
    some seed or bush from a buying trip and the poor thing would just up and
    die. Made me Mum ever so mad, All the finest horse manure I can have for the
    roses and not a one to grow for me'" Alanna said in a rather prim English
    accent.
    "Alanna!" Victoria laughed in amazement.
    "Mother did teach us to speak properly, but" Alanna's voice changed back to her
    usual Irish lilt, "after she died Da didn't like me reminding me of her. I got out of
    the habit I'm afraid."
    "I was thinking," Victoria spread some of the fragrant stuff around the bushes,
    "that you and Audra could go and visit my friend Euphemia Waters in San
    Francisco next week. You'd like her she's got a big house on one of the hills and
    loves shopping and going to see the sights."
    "That would be nice Mrs. Barkley, but I'll be going with Nick and Heath on the
    cattle drive." Alanna heaped the muck carefully around a bush trying to avoid
    the needle sharp thorns.
    "Oh?"Victoria shot a look at the young woman.
    "Oh aye, Heath has had me checkin' out the remuda and getting all the supplies
    and stuff packed for the trip. I even had Blackjack reshoed for the rough
    country." She said satisfied with the work she had done and was doing now.
    Sometimes it was hard to chose between horse work and womanly work,
    though washing was one chore she'd pass on.
    "Has Nick or Heath said you are going?" Victoria asked.
    "Well why not if I've done all the work for going?" Alanna looked a bit suspicious
    now. "Don't ye be going to tell me it's not a thing for females to be doin' again."
    Her voice began to rise in anger.
    "That's right Alanna." Victoria said sternly. "It is not the thing for you to go off
    with six men on a long trip into the high country."
    "But Nick and Heath will be there, and no one handles the horses like me!"
    "My dear, there has already been enough gossip..." Victoria began.
    "Audra said she'd been on a drive." Alanna realized she was probably beating a
    dead horse, but something urged her to press her point.
    "That was when her father was alive. It is different now." Victoria's tone held a
    finality that Alanna recognized as the end of things as far as Mrs. Barkley was
    concerned. Seeing the disappointment on Alanna's face, Victoria softened.
    "Much as we'd like to follow our hearts, it is not always possible."
    "Follow my heart." Alanna's hands stilled and her face became blank as she
    suddenly remembered her dream. Her face got a determined look that Heath or
    Nick would have immediately recognized as Alanna at her most stubborn and
    willful.
    "If ye don't mind Mrs. Barkley, I'll just be asking Heath and Nick their opinions."
    "Now, Alanna..."Victoria began, but it was already to a retreating back. "Darn
    that child!" Victoria said exasperatedly. Hopefully, her sons weren't really
    considering taking Alanna with them. That would certainly be a disaster for her
    reputation and that of the Barkley men.
    As Alanna walked around the house on her way to the barn, her steps began to
    slow and falter. Heath had never really said she was going and Nick, well, she
    didn't know what Nick wanted these days. Half the time he was the boss, the
    other half he treated her with no more gallantry nor regard than his sister and
    yet he'd kissed her. Twice now, but how could she really know how he felt, or
    how she felt if he didn't let her close. Sean had told her to follow her heart and
    if that meant following Nick on the drive, than that was what she'd do. This
    would take some planning and an accomplice. Alanna changed direction and
    went into the house to recruit Audra who would appreciate the romantic part of
    the idea and would gloss over the rest of it.
    "I don't know Alanna." Audra was being sensible for once. Bad timing, as far as
    Alanna was concerned. "I hate to lie to Mother."
    "Not lying, Audra, just not telling her everything. You go off to San Francisco
    and I join the drive a day or two later.
    "I don't know, Nick would get awfully mad. Heath too!"
    Alanna played her last trump card. "D'ya ever have a dream, the kind that ye
    know means something, something important?"
    Audra nodded slowly. She listened as Alanna told of her dream.
    "Ye see Audra, Sean didn't promise to come back. He couldn't make that
    promise. Not goin' off to a war."
    Audra nodded in understanding.
    "But," Alanna continued, "He promised to look out for me. We both had the gift
    and it made us close. We didn't need the words between us. I think, " Alanna
    paused and her own resolve became clear, "I think I _have_ to go." An involuntary
    shiver ran through her.
    "I'll help." Audra said suddenly. "I'll probably get into a heap of trouble, but I'll
    help."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "Now Alanna, I'm sorry you thought you were going." Heath said cautiously, ready to duck
    when she threw a punch at him. "I thought you would figger it out for yourself." He added
    lamely. Why wasn't she asking Nick? He always ended up with the dirty work.
    "Are ye not pleased with the work I do Heath Barkley?" She had her arms crossed which
    meant he wasn't going to be hit. But her expression was angry and maybe a little hurt.
    "No. It ain't that." Heath began to feel trapped by her baleful stare. "You just can't go. Not
    fittin." Heath beat a very hasty retreat cursing Nick for not handling this.
    Alanna sighed. She hadn't expected anything else, but she wasn't a child anymore to be told
    what to do. She was a grown woman with a mind of her own. Or so she kept reminding
    herself.
    The next few days were busy enough with the men getting ready for the drive and then
    leaving two days after them Audra and Alanna for San Francisco. Neither Heath nor Victoria
    made any more fuss, nor did they mention Alanna's disappointment to the others. Alanna
    also breathed a sigh of relief. If Nick had come out and ordered her not to come she would
    find it much harder to go.
    Audra also found it easier to help Alanna with the attention elsewhere. She was amazingly
    helpful in many of the devious parts of the plot. Blackjack was taken surreptiously into town
    along with clothes and supplies that Alanna would need on the trail.
    Alanna's determination and plans were almost undone at the last minute by Nick.
    The family were gathering around the front door for good-byes. Alanna had slipped away to
    the study and was pretending to look at one of the paintings when Nick came in with his
    gloves on and his hat in one hand.
    "There you are. Come on out with the rest of us."
    " Tis a family thing." Alanna said.
    Nick took her chin in one hand and tilted her face up towards his. "You're important, too."
    He said in a surprisingly gentle voice. He brushed the back of his hand across the fading
    bruise on her cheek.
    Alanna blinked in surprise, but managed to keep her mouth shut. If he kissed her, she'd be
    lost.
    "Nick!" Heath's voice called impatiently.
    "C'mon then." Nick put his arm around her shoulders and they joined the rest of the family.
    Two days later Jarrod saw the girls off on the train to San Francisco, leaving behind Victoria
    with a rather pleasant empty house. She would have her own vacation.
    As the train left the station, a slim figure in trousers and a heavy wool jacket swung off on
    the far side of the train. Audra got a glimpse of a waving hand and then Alanna was off. She
    collected Blackjack and her bedroll and supplies from Audra's friends place and set off. She
    would have to spend at least one night by herself on the trail, but it couldn't be all that bad.
    It was the most miserable day she had ever spent. First off, it was cold and windy. Blackjack
    was more than fractious and managed to get a good painful nip in on her leg. He spent the
    rest of the time bucking and shying at anything that moved in the wind. Alanna could swear
    that the animal was laughing at her. Her own conscience had been bothering her. After all the
    Barkley's had done for her, she was going against their wishes. Yet, it was her life, how was
    she going to find out how Nick felt if she wasn't with him?
    By the time she had made camp she had a nasty headache and another bite mark from
    Blackjack. She sat huddled next to her small fire and listened to all the strange sounds of the
    night. When she finally slept it was punctuated by strange dreams that she couldn't
    remember when she woke up, but left her with uneasy feelings. She had slept late. Blackjack
    had slipped one of his hobbles and it took her a while to catch up to him as he made tracks
    for the barn and home. So, the sun was high by the time she set out again. Breakfast was a
    handful of dried apples and a sip of water from her canteen.
    Then she got lost.
    How she missed the trail left by a herd of cattle, five horsemen, and a chuckwagon was
    beyond her. Yet she had. She guided the horse onto a high ridge in the hopes of catching
    sight of the men and the herd of cattle. Luckily, she was rewarded by a plume of dust on the
    horizon that could only be them. She kept to the ridge mindful that she didn't want to lose
    them again. The riding was more difficult, but Blackjack was surefooted and clever, he did
    well for her, he just liked expressing his own opinion occasionally.
    Gradually, she began to parallel and pass the herd. Charger and Heath were riding point, she
    could tell the horse even at a distance. Alanna began to look for a place to ride down the
    ridge. It was pretty steep and scrubby, not an easy ride by any shot. She noticed Charger
    being wheeled to one side, waiting for one of the outriders to change point. Maybe Nick....
    Long-homed cattle are the most dangerous, omery , smart cattle in the west.
    They can go for days without water, are so adept at defending themselves
    that even a pack of wolves would think twice about attacking one of these
    massive creatures, much less a herd. Unfortunately, they are all gristle and
    bone and not that tasty as a meat animal. The white face cattle, which in
    themselves were a hardy breed, were more profitable in the market place. They
    were good eating. They were also stupid and as skittish as an old maid finding
    a man under her bed. Almost anything could set them off to running
    mindlessly in one direction or another bellowing and mooing and making a big
    fuss over nothing or everything.
    It could have been a jackrabbit or a bush rustling in the breeze a little louder
    than usual, but all of the sudden the Barkley crew found themselves in the
    middle of a stampede.
    Alanna had been looking for a good place to ride her horse down to rendezvous
    with Nick and the trail drive. The slope wasn't as steep as before, but was still
    steep enough for her to think twice. As the herd bolted, she realized the
    danger. No one was on point! She was the only one ahead of the herd, even
    though she wasn't on the same trail. Digging her heels into Blackjack she
    turned him down the steep hill. He hit the slope with a defiant squeal and his
    ears laid back.
    Nick recognized the pony before he recognized the rider. The black raced down
    the hill almost defying gravity . The rider was leaning back almost on its tail,
    skilfully counterbalancing the headlong rush. The last few yards were done
    with the pony sliding on all four legs, throwing up a cloud of dust. The beeves
    snorted in confusion at the disturbance and the rider's whistles and shouts,
    they began to slow and balk giving the outriders a chance to tum the almost
    stampeding herd into a mill. The cattle began to circle in on themselves and
    ground their previous headlong flight to a nervous halt.
    Nick and Heath's first concern was for the cattle, then their attention fell onto
    Blackjack's rider .
    "O'SHANNON!" Nick bellowed almost loud enough to stampede the herd again.
    Alanna sat easily on the sturdy horse and waited for Nick. When he got close
    enough to see his face which was red with fury and rage she whirled Blackjack
    around and made a run for it. This wasn't quite the way she had pictured their
    reunion.
    Blackjack was no match for Coco, especially after the gruelling run down the
    side of the hill. Nick plucked the woman out of the saddle and throwing her
    face down over his lap spanked her bottom hard several times. He then
    dropped her down to stand on the ground.
    "What the devil are you doing here?! And that fool stunt, you could have got
    yourself killed!" He ran a hand over his face trying hard not lose what shred of
    calmness he had left.
    "You hit me..." She looked at him shocked.
    "1 spanked you, which you deserved. Not mount up and follow me." He
    wheeled Coco around and galloped back to the herd. He didn't 't look behind
    even once.
    "We'll settle 'em early tonight!" Nick began yelling the orders. "1 want a double
    night watch, they'll still be a bit edgy after today. Cookie! Make some room for
    Miss O'Shannon in the wagon."
    The crew were already busy at work and Cookie had a fire going with a pot of
    coffee already simmering.
    He then turned to the woman sitting on the horse.
    "There's no way I can send you back alone and I need all the men. I can't
    spare you an escort." As she went to open her mouth he dismounted and
    pulled her bodily off the horse and drug her over to one side. "Not a word
    Alanna, by God not one word out of you or so help me..." He grimaced and
    released her arm. "You'll sleep in the chuck wagon. You'll do as you're told and
    talk to no one. Don't think for one minute that you'll get away with disobeying
    me again. Got it?"
    Alanna nodded her face white with the effort not to cry in front of Nick, Heath
    and the trail hands.
    "You can eat over there. Right now I don't want to see you." Nick waved a
    hand towards the wagon and turning his back on her stalked over to the fire.
    Alanna risked a glance at Heath who turned his head away and joined Nick by
    the fire.
    "A little rough weren't you?" Heath enquired quietly.
    He got a poisonous glare from his brother. "1 expect everyone to obey my
    orders. You too Heath, no taking pity on Alanna."
    "Hell Nick, I'm just as mad as you are, but aren't you being too harsh? "
    "No. And that's the last I want to talk about it." Nick poured himself a cup of
    coffee and stared at the fire. The talk around the camp was subdued and terse
    reflecting the boss' mood.
    The next two days were strained for everyone. Not since Heath had come to
    the valley had Nick been so angry about anything. The men kept shooting
    glances of dislike towards Alanna who had changed their easy going but tough
    boss into a snarling beast. Even Heath kept his distance.
    After two days in the chuck wagon Alanna picked up her courage and
    approached Nick as he was saddling his remount for the day a rangy gray
    named Ace.
    " Am I still working for ye Mr .Barkley?"
    "What do you want?" Nick growled.
    "If I be working for ye. I want to work. Not sit in that darn chuck wagon. If I
    ain't workin then we be parting our ways. Ye'll tell Mrs. Barkley ...oooww!" Her
    sentence was cut off by Nick grabbing her arm and pulling her aside.
    "You aren't 't running out on me! You hear! When things get tough stick it out
    instead of running. You ran from your brother, when your horse died you tried
    to run from that by hurting yourself, now you have to learn to take
    responsibility for your actions.!"
    "1 had no choice! I was never given a choice! It was be Jamie or lose my Da. I
    had to live with Michael or he'd put me in the first whorehouse that'd give him
    a good price. What do ye want from me Nick? Does what I want ever matter?"
    "Hell Alanna, I don 't know. All I know is that you scared me riding down that
    hill. You being here is a problem. What if one of those cowboys tries
    something? You are a woman Alanna. It is about time you realized it."
    "Oh aye I know it well. Did ye know why I came after ye? Why did ye ever kiss
    me? It was just a game to ye, wasn't 't it? Do ye laugh about it like the others?
    Get the me to kiss ye, to lov...." She stopped, the rest of the sentence caught
    in her throat.
    Nick was put on the defensive. Instead of him lecturing her, she had turned
    the tables on him. He felt strangely off balance. "You ride drag. We'll talk about
    this later. No running. Promise?"
    Her blue eyes looked suspiciously bright, but Alanna wasn't 't the crying sort,
    was she?
    "No I won't run. I'll do as I please, though." With great daring she pulled his
    face to hers and kissed him with feeling, but no expertise on the lips. She then
    turned on her heel and without a backward look went to saddle up her horse.
    "Boy Howdy, she's got guts." Heath said admiringly from behind Nick. "How are
    you going to answer her?"
    "Damned if I know .', Nick said. Strangely enough the anger was gone and he
    almost felt relaxed, the first time since the almost stampede. "I'll just think of
    something. I don 't suppose you have any ideas?" He looked hopefully at
    Heath.
    "Uh uh. Not me. But Nick, " He mounted his second horse, Silverado, a tough
    mouthed but steady mount. "Don't hit her again. Or I'll get involved."
    Nick stared at his brother and then nodded. "Yeah I was sorry for that. Her
    brother used to cuff her around did'nt 't he?"
    "Yeah. Mother mentioned even seeing some old whip marks on her back."
    Heath grimaced.
    "Well trail boss, shall we get this herd moving? I noticed that it's raining up in
    the mountains. We better cross the river by this afternoon."
    "Yeah. We don't want to be fighting high water. The herd is still a bit spooky."
    Nick ran his thumb unconsciously over his bottom lip. He'd have to teach her
    how to kiss. He then turned his attention to the work at hand.
    The river was churning and foaming a bit when they got to the ford. The cattle,
    after a little prodding, took the crossing well in stride. Nick was sitting on Ace
    in the middle of the stream waiting for the last of cattle to come. All of the
    crew had gone to the other bank, except for Alanna who was riding drag, the
    dirtiest nastiest job on the trail. She and Blackjack were covered in a film of
    dust making them both a uniform gray brown. Nick grimaced in some sympathy.
    Alanna was as fastidious as a cat about grooming. She liked to be clean.
    Ace began to dance impatiently , shifting nervously. Nick gave the horse a kick
    to coax him further into the river, but the horse shivered and began to take
    exception to the instructions given by reins and legs. Nick was so busy trying
    to handle the suddenly fractious horse he did'nt 't hear the low rumble that
    seemed to come from the banks of the river. The cattle, even though on the
    other side of the river began to move restlessly and bellow. Heath and the
    other hands had their hands full directing them in a sensible direction. The last
    of the cattle in the river were splashing madly in all directions swimming with a
    mindless vigor anywhere. Ace took advantage of the melee to rear up
    screaming and threw Nick off his back.
    Alanna was still on the bank trying to keep the few head of cattle on her side
    of the stream going into the water and not back over her and Blackjack.
    "Ye stupid critters!" She yelled and whapped a steer on the nose with her
    rope. It looked at her with wild eyes. Out of one eye she saw Nick being
    thrown and stood up in her stirrups to make sure he was all right. A sigh of
    relief escaped her lips as she saw him come up spitting water and curses at
    Ace who was making for the shore as fast as he could. Blackjack shivered under her and
    began to dance nervously . His eyes showed white and he blew and chewed nervously at the
    bit.
    "Easy Jack. " Alanna laid a calming hand on his lathered neck. She looked around for what
    was disturbing the horse. Could it be a wild animal? Then, she felt rather than heard the low
    roar. It wasn't 't a washout, but enough of a flood to scare the beasts and imperil the man in
    the water .
    "NICK!" Alanna screamed and pointed upstream.
    Heath, on the other side of the river, heard the rumble and turned his horse in time to see
    Nick swept by the wave along with other floating debris that had been picked up on the way
    down the mountain. He was blocked by the thick brush on his side of the river. He saw a
    horse dash down the other bank after
    his brother. It was Alanna galloping the horse over bushes and rocks like they
    were nothing. Nick was clutching a branch that had lodged itself against a rock.
    Hung there for a few precious seconds, just long enough for the horse and
    rider to draw near.
    The cowpony valiantly jumped into the raging torrent.
    She asked him to. He quickly sank up to his head in the roaring frothing
    waters. His eyes rolled in his head as the woman urged him, not towards the
    safety of the shore but towards the middle of river. Alanna twined one hand in
    Blackjack's mane and letting her body swing out into the center of the river
    reached for Nick as he hung precariously on the slippery branch. No words
    passed between them as their hands slid and gripped together. Their eyes met
    briefly.
    Nick Barkley wasn't 't a small man. The river current was strong. The only thing
    keeping him from being swept downstream with no will or volition was one very
    determined woman and a courageous horse.
    The river won.
    Nick didn't hear the snap as much as feel IT. Bone and muscle gave into inertia
    and force where will and love would have held forever .
    As she felt the odd wrench that tore him from her grasp, her brain stopped
    functioning and her other hand let loose of the horse and let the current take
    her too.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Heath and the crew spent three days searching the banks of the river for
    Nick's and Alanna's bodies. To have lost them and not even have a remnant to
    take home, a scrap to mourn over was doubly heartbreaking. They had a flash
    of hope when they found Blackjack. The horse was badly hurt but alive. Heath
    himself cared for the cowpony, determined to save at least the horse. The
    once feisty animal stoically endured the care and stood still when Heath buried
    his face in the horse's neck and wept bitterly for the loss.
    Victoria was working with her roses when Heath came home. There was no
    warning. No portentous feelings, no rumble of thunder. She didn't experience
    even a twinge of her sharp intuition. The boys had often teased her that she
    knew when they were in
    trouble even before they did. She just looked up and Heath was there with his
    hat in his hand and an awful look on his face.
    "Mother..." He choked out. "Nick..."
    "Oh no. Oh no. "Someone was chanting over and over again the voice rising to
    a grating shrillness that Victoria realized was her own. She crammed a fist into
    her mouth and stared at her younger son. Much as she wanted to give in to
    her own hysteria it was the awful look of guilt and pain on Heath's face that
    pulled her back. She held her arms out to him and he slid to his knees in front
    of her his face buried in her skirt.
    "1 lost him. Oh Mother, I couldn't 't do anything. One moment they were there,
    then gone. I looked. I looked for days. I couldn't even bring them home."
    Victoria laid her hand on her son's head as he poured out his disjointed story.
    The flash flood, Nick disappearing into the river. The fruitless search. His guilt.
    "Heath. Heath." She took his face in his hands and tilted it to look at her. "I
    know you did your best. Your brother ," Her voice caught, but she only
    tightened her grip on Heath. "Nick knows too." The small woman pulled him to
    his feet and wrapping her arms around his waist hugged him fiercely.
    They were still in the garden when Jarrod came running into the house. Heath
    had sent a rider for his brother hoping he would come home quickly.
    "Mother! Heath!" He called feeling that the house was too empty . Silas met
    him and gestured to the garden, but he laid an arm on Jarrod's arm. "Mr.
    Nick?" Jarrod nodded sadly. Tears gathered in Silas' eyes as the lawyer strode
    out to the garden where his mother and brother needed him. Tragedy had
    struck the Barkley family again.
    It seemed ages or only moments later when they were in the library . Jarrod
    had poured them all a stiff drink. Victoria sat on the sofa with her sons on
    either side.
    "We'll have to send for Audra and Alanna." Jarrod said quietly knowing that
    this would shatter his sister. He had his own suspicions about Alanna's
    feelings for his volatile brother. It wouldn't be a happy homecoming.
    Heath groaned and buried his face in his hands.
    "What is it dear?" Victoria asked alarmed.
    " Alanna was with us. She followed us on the drive. It was too late to send her
    back, too dangerous. Nick was furious."
    "Oh my." Victoria breathed, "Where is she Heath? This must be terrible for
    her."
    Heath jumped to his feet and poured another glass of whisky and downed it in
    one go. Jarrod looked at his brother in real concern. He had rarely seen Heath
    so disturbed, he was always the one to remain cool where Nick blew up.
    "She went in after him. Made her horse jump into the flood. We found the
    horse, but no sign of Nick or Alanna. She..." He stopped and looked at his
    mother .
    "She loved him enough to die with him." Victoria said with tears in her eyes.
    "Oh my poor dears." Tears that had not fallen yet, began.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    If the people attending the funeral for Nick Barkley found it strange that there
    was a grave next to his for Alanna O'Shannon, nothing was said publicly.
    Audra's own remorse and guilt over encouraging Alanna to pursue Nick had
    been a double burden for the young lady. Audra mourned not only her
    brother, but someone she had become fond of. While her mother and
    brother's were able to make her feel somewhat better the experience gave
    Audra a solemnness and maturity .
    Time was the great healer, but as fall began to deepen and snow began to
    dust the tops of the Sierra Nevadas and the Trinity Alps, Heath Barkley found
    himself becoming even more restless. He had thrown himself into the running
    of the ranch with almost single minded devotion trying to somehow replace
    Nick. It took both Victoria and Jarrod to keep the young man from killing
    himself with work. Jarrod often found him in the barn currying the already
    gleaming Blackjack and Coco.
    "Heath. Brother ." Jarrod began. His eyes saddened as he noticed how thin
    Heath had become. "You can't, no we can't go on like this. What can we do?"
    Jarrod begged afraid that he was losing another brother right before his eyes.
    "I gotta bring him home Jarrod. Alanna too. They deserve to be home, not out
    there all alone."
    "All right. We'll go together. Day after tomorrow too soon?" He cocked a
    dark eyebrow at Heath. It was so like Nick and so unlike his very cautious oldest
    brother that Heath laughed.
    "Oh lord, Jarrod." He put a hand onto his brother's shoulder and squeezed it
    in gratitude.
    "No, day after tomorrow is fine. Mother.." He added frowning.
    "I've already told Mother. She agrees that it would be a good idea to go now
    before the snows set in."
    It was a dry-eyed but understanding Victoria who kissed her two sons
    good-bye two days later on their search for release from Nick's demise. She
    didn't think they would succeed in the physical quest but was sure that both
    of them, and especially Heath, would come home with their souls more at
    peace.
    The sounds were confusing, a steady creak and groan. After a while the
    groans seemed to follow a regular pattern and were connected to movement a
    swaying bumping movement that brought a jarring pain to his body. The pain
    seemed to grown with time and new groans joined the other ones. There was
    a large bump and in the middle of a groan everything turned gray and
    unfeeling again.
    "Nick... please Nick. Nick. " The voice was naggingly persistent. The groaning
    and movement had stopped but the pain was back and growing more insistent
    in demanding attention, that and the voice calling to him. The voice was
    familiar, he couldn't quite hold onto it. Whoever it was sounded scared. Maybe
    if he could open his eyes...with a great deal of effort he cracked open an eye
    that seemed to be glued together. It was dark, shadowy and gloomy. A flicker
    of light caught his eye. A candle guttered unevenly throwing uneasy and odd
    shadows everywhere. A dark shadow near his head seemed to waver and draw
    closer .
    "Nick?" The shadow asked. " Are ye awake Nick?"
    He nodded, which was a move he vowed to never do again as it felt as if his
    head was going to split. He closed his eyes again in pain. Something cool and
    soothing was laid across his forehead and he sighed with relief.
    "Nick?" There it was again, the pleading voice, damn stubborn... He pried his
    eyes open again.
    " Alanna?" His voice was thick and almost unrecognizable to himself. His eyes
    were more accustomed to the gloom and he recognized the curly halo of her
    hair. He couldn't see her face but he could hear the relief in her voice.
    "Oh yes. Oh Nick. "
    She wasn't crying? Was he that bad hurt? He sure didn't feel good. Why
    should he? He'd been thrown from his horse into a raging flood, been battered
    and torn and near drowned.
    "Sleep Nick. Tis the best thing now." The cool rag was taken away and
    replaced with another .
    "Yeah. Sleep." As he closed his eyes thankfully he felt a tickle of worry touch
    him. Something was still wrong, but then sleep pulled him into a foggy
    embrace.
    When he woke up again feeble sunlight was shining through a rough window
    set high in the wall above his head. For a while he was content to watch the
    small march of the square of light as it moved across the room to finally rest
    near the bed. Cautious movement had brought the headache back, but not
    the blinding pain as last time. He appeared to have some bruised or even
    busted ribs and one leg was aching fiercely. It had been heavily bandaged and
    was propped up higher than his other leg. The room was starkly plain with only
    the bed and a piece of furniture that was closer to being a box rather than a
    chair. A table next to the bed had the guttered out remains of a candle and
    bowl with a dried out rag in it.
    He lay on a mattress ungraced by any sheets and the blanket covering him
    was the ugliest piece of patchwork he'd ever seen. All the bits of cloth were
    dull gray, brown or predominantly black. No pleasing pattern was attempted or
    even geometry to please the
    eye. It was warm, however, for which he felt he should be grateful. His mind
    seemed slow to grasp what was happening. Where was he? Why wasn't Heath
    there? Where was Alanna? He was sure that she had been here earlier. Where
    was anybody? He was just considering trying to get out of the bed when the
    door to the little room opened and in came a man with a straggly grey beard
    that sat on his chest like a wispy broom. He was dressed in black and had
    'patriarch' written over his stern countenance. He was followed by a silent
    woman dressed in sombre gray who began without a word to set a tray with
    some food and a pitcher of water on the table. She kept her eyes on the
    ground the whole time and slipped out just as quietly as she had come in.
    " Ah. You are awake. Good. I am Brother Jeremias."
    "Where am I?"
    "You are in Heaven." The man intoned piously.
    Nick felt his mouth grow dry for an instant. Surely he wasn't dead? He didn't
    feel dead. He hurt too much to be dead. This place was just too awful to be
    the afterlife.
    "We are a community of believers who have cut themselves off from the
    material world in order to become closer to God. That is why we have called
    this place Heaven. The good Lord has led you to us."
    "What happened? I don't remember...much after falling in the river. My
    brother! Heath will be looking for me."
    "You should not question the ways of the Lord for they are mysterious and
    work only to his will." Brother Jeremias intoned. "Suffice to say the Lord led us
    to you and you will have a purpose to that finding. We were on our bi-annual
    trip to the town when we found you. We brought you here in our supply
    wagon. The Lord has been bountiful."
    He eyed Nick as if he were a horse for sale or a side of beef to be butchered.
    The man's ambiguity was too confusing for Nick's head at the moment. He
    wanted straight forward answers. " Alanna, where is she?"
    "The female is in her rightful place where she will learn discipline and
    obedience."
    Nick snorted. "That'lI be the day ." But his eyes became hard when he realized
    that the old man had been serious. "Is she all right?"
    "Her injuries were - minor. Is that one your sister? Perhaps your servant?" The
    man seemed almost too hopeful and a pointed tongue slid out to lick his lips in
    a most unbenevolent manner .
    He wasn't sure why he said it, but he was to be grateful and troubled later for
    the hasty words.
    "She's my wife and I want to see her now." Nick said forcefully though his head
    had begun to pound again.
    " Ah well, Brother Amos will be disappointed then. He had counted on wedding
    the woman himself. Even though she is willful, she is young and strong. But
    such is the will of the Lord." The tone was only slightly disappointed, but the
    old man's gaze was anything kindly . "Perhaps you would like to recover more
    from your injuries. I can assure you that we will keep your wife disciplined until
    you are well enough yourself."
    "1 want her now!" Nick's head was pounding and he was feeling like hell, but
    he had a bad feeling one even worse than the pain in his ribs and leg. He
    stifled a groan.
    The little square of light had edged its way into his lap by the time the door
    opened and a woman in a shabby brown dress and an ugly bonnet that
    covered what he knew to be a riot of black curls. One arm was strapped up
    tightly to her chest. Nick had a flash of the river and a hand gripping his
    refusing to let go until- My God he broke her arm! Despite the pain he raised
    himself up on one elbow and held his hand out to her. With a broken sound
    she was in his arms sobbing as if her heart were breaking.
    "It's all right. Shhh. Alanna sweetheart don't cry. We are alive. It'll be all
    right."
    "1 was so sc-scared Nick. Ye wouldn't wake up and ye were hurt so bad. I
    couldn't hold on. I couldn't 't."
    "Hush. Shhhh. It's all right." He held her tight to him ignoring the pain of her
    shaking body digging into his ribs. It took some time for Alanna to settle down
    to tired sniffs. The questionable light from the little window was beginning to
    fade with the sun.
    "Oh dear ." She finally sat up and wiped the tears away with the back of one
    hand. "I'm sorry."
    Nick was too tired to handle things anymore though he managed to capture
    her free hand and give it a comforting squeeze. As he closed his eyes he could
    hear Alanna moving quietly around the room.
    "Nick?" She asked him quietly. "D'ye think ye could eat something? The food is
    something terrible, but it would be good to eat."
    "You eat it." Nick said and then lightened the words, "But I am awful thirsty."
    He drank from the crude cup she handed him draining it twice before laying
    back with a sigh.
    " All right, then I have to look at your leg. Ye've got a nasty cut and these folk
    have little or no idea of healing. So far, the only good is that they pulled us out
    of the river. They have no idea of being nice to a woman and their idea of
    hospitality was to try to...well never mind." Nick fell asleep with her soft voice
    voicing a rather acid opinion of their hosts. Probably justified he mused as
    exhaustion took over .
    He woke in the middle of the night to the play of moonlight coming through
    the small window. It was none too warm in the small room as the window had
    no glass and the space under the door was large enough for a good sized rat
    to run under. He turned his head and saw Alanna sitting in the small chair, her
    good arm wrapped around her and her head tipped back up against the wall.
    He could hear her rough breathing. He reached out a hand to touch her leg
    and she jumped nervously.
    "What are you doing?" Nick grated out.
    "1 was asleep til ye woke me. Are ye hurting, Nick? Hungry? I've nought but
    water and a wee sup of broth that is cold."
    "Get into the bed. I'm feeling too tired to fight with you Alanna." He held an
    arm out and to his relief she crawled in next to him without a word of protest.
    This worried him more than the chills that she tried to hide. She whimpered as
    he accidently squeezed the hurt shoulder and arm. "Is it broken?"
    "Not bad, Mistress Helen says, she's the old goat's wife, but the arm were
    pulled out of its place. That's what hurts more."
    "Sleep now." Nick said roughly and was pleased when she did just that falling
    into what must be an exhausted slumber. He let his lips brush across her
    forehead and was worried to feel warmth of fever radiating off her .
    Morning brought Hell to Heaven. Nick felt terrible, Alanna looked terrible, and
    Brother Jeremias was terrible. Jeremias was very snarly and put out by Alanna's
    demands for decent food, fresh bandages, better treatment, and a way out of
    Heaven or at least a message delivered to the nearest town so that the
    Barkleys could hear they were alive. They only won a small victory with
    bandages and better food. Nick had to endure a long rambling sermon on
    keeping women in their place. From the hints the old man dropped their stay in
    Heaven could be prolonged or even permanent. Jeremias considered Nick and
    Alanna as a gift from God to help out in their little community .
    Nick decided to have a little talk with Alanna as soon as possible. As long as he
    was tied to this bed he couldn't 't do anything to take them out of Heaven.
    despite her own injuries Alanna was put to work in the communal kitchen and
    only allowed to see Nick to bring meals or assist in his care. After Nick had eaten
    and been gratefully walked by Brother Amos to the outhouse, Alanna was
    released to be with him. The poor girl didn't say a word but collapsed in the bed
    and buried her head in Nick's shoulder and was quiet. Nick sighed and removed
    the ugly bonnet that she had left on. He gasped in alarm as he realized that
    they had shaved her head. He ran a wondering hand over the awful stubble.
    "Mebbe it'll grow back straight..." she muttered into his shoulder.
    "1 liked it curly ." Nick said. "I'm sorry , I had no idea. Look we'll get out of here
    as soon as I can get on my feet."
    She raised her head up to meet his eyes. "We'll get out of here when ye are
    well and not a day sooner Nick Barkley. It was hard enough dragging your great
    carcass up the river bank! I ain't carrying ye through the forest!"
    " All right." He replied reasonably. He almost laughed as she blinked in surprise.
    He was beginning to learn how to handle Alanna. "But Jeremias will try to keep
    us here."
    "I'm not surprised." Alanna replied. "There are only old men here and very tired
    women. Brother Amos has buried three wives so far. Thank God ye are married
    to me. I mean..." She broke off.
    "Yes. It's a good idea. Now, 1 think our best plan is to go along with Brother
    Jeremias and do things his way until we are both better." He held up a hand.
    "And before you say you are line I know better. You are running a fever and
    have been coughing. You are going to have to do as I say. In front of Jeremias
    to give him the wrong impression and now with me because I will get us out of
    here. Is that understood?"
    There was only a breath of hesitation and her firm answer, "Yes, Nick. "
    "Good." He replied and felt a whole set of muscles in his shoulders relax that he
    hadn't realized were tense. "Now, get some sleep." He deliberately laid a hand
    on the shaved head.
    "It better come back curly ." He muttered into her ear. He had a sudden flash of
    her dragging him out of the water, herself half-drowned-drowned and hurt. His grip
    tightened unconsciously.
    The days turning into weeks seemed to drag by for Nick only lightened
    marginally by infrequent visits by Brother Jeremias or any of the other equally
    dour men of the community. Nick found himself wishing that be had Jarrod's
    silver tongue in place of his usual blunt comments. Luckily, the men of Heaven
    never even considered subterfuge and were ready to soak up the faint praise
    that Nick was able to dish out. They in turn praised him in his strength and
    looked forwards to him joining their labors. They also agreed that his wife was
    becoming more docile and despite a broken arm and dislocated shoulder was
    quite the worker. The real bright moments of the day were when Alanna could
    slip away from her duties for a few minutes. She would bring him a piece of
    fruit or some fresh baked bread or even just a quick smile and report about
    what people were doing. When the sun began to set, she would join him in the
    little cramped room that was his world for the time being. They would share
    the meagre dinner and she would curl up next to him and they would talk.
    "If there is anyone more stupid than these men, it's the women for putting up
    with them." Alanna said angrily over their evening meal after they had been
    there for a little over three weeks. "Brother Ezekiel beat his wife for not making
    a good dinner, when he only gives her potatoes and flour to make it with."
    Alanna fidgeted with her fork and then pushed her share of the dinner over to
    Nick. "I'm not too hungry ." she explained over his raised eyebrow, "I had
    some as I fried them."
    "These are really good." Nick grinned appreciatively as he shovelled the
    pancakes into his mouth."What's in them?"
    "Well...potatoes and flour and a few other things to make it good. I can cook
    ye know."
    "Mmmm sure can. Once we get home you can make me a real meal."
    " All right. What do you want?" She asked falling into the game.
    "Meat and potatoes and something so sweet it'll make your teeth ache."
    "Aschh Nick, real cookin' isn't meat and potatoes it's lamb chops roasted in
    butter and garlic and wild sage. Boxtie potatoes that'll melt in your mouth and
    pudding so light that will think the angels made it." She nodded her head at
    him.
    "You are an evil woman." He said shaking a finger at her, "But these are real
    good too. l'll hold you that." He pointed to her share of the meal with a fork
    and as she wearily nodded he dug in eagerly . He kept one eye on her, he had
    began to worry about her health as he himself grew stronger. More often than
    not, Alanna would fall asleep in the middle of a conversation, no matter how
    hard she tried to stay awake. He began to think that they would have to go
    long before he was ready, before she became ill. As usual, he would shift over
    to make room for her in the narrow uncomfortable bed. He would remove the
    ugly bonnet and gently run a hand over her fuzzy head and tuck her head on
    his shoulder for sleep.
    "Nick! Nick!"
    He woke to her calling his name, that and an elbow in the ribs.
    "What? What is it?" He pulled himself up painfully and awkwardly on one elbow.
    Alanna was moaning and tossing restlessly on the bed.
    "Oh God no, Nick..." She whispered. He touched her forehead and was
    shocked at the heat radiating from her. He reached over her head to the bowl
    of clean water and the cloths that Alanna had stacked up there earlier in case
    he needed it. He wiped her face carefully, but it didn't seem to make much
    difference. Without hesitation he began to unbutton the unbecoming dress
    that the Heavenites deemed suitable for a woman. He had some trouble easing
    it off the injured arm and was horrified at the horrible bruising and swelling
    that was visible even in the fitful light of the moon. Soon he had her stripped
    to a thin cotton shift and was drenching her in the cold water, anything to
    bring the fever down. She continued to toss and speak in odd disjointed
    phrases.
    "1 let go. I let go. Nick forgive me." She seemed to be reliving their experience
    in the river. Nick soon gave up trying to talk to her or make sense, but in
    bringing the fever down.
    Finally , to his great relief the fever broke and she stopped thrashing around.
    She lay quietly her eyes half open as he gently mopped the sweat from her
    soggy body.
    "Nick? Did ye mind that I followed ye?" She turned her head slightly towards
    him.
    Nick thought she was referring to following them on the cattle drive. "Well,
    yeah, I gave you a good walloping for that did'nt 't I?"
    "No, I meant in the river. I - I couldn't let ye go. I had to be with ye. Do you
    understand?"
    "If you weren't so sick I'd give you a walloping for that too."
    "That's why I'm telling you now."
    "Why you little..." Nick began dangerously and leaned over her threateningly.
    He kissed her hard and demandingly on the mouth. After a few moments, he
    knew he was in trouble. Her lips were soft and giving under his. He could feel
    her body through the thin wet shift pressing into his. His hands moulded
    around her body, finding the soft curves fitting her to him. He tore himself
    away reluctantly.
    "No. Not now." He said roughly. "I'm sorry Alanna."
    "1 understand." She said turning herself away from him to curl into a little ball.
    "No! Dammit you don't. It's not that I don't want you. I do. But this is no time
    and no place."
    "1 said I understand Nick. I'm tired and I don 't feel good." She answered him
    back peevishly as he tried to put an arm around her .
    Nick decided to let her be, but knew there was a lot to be settled between the
    two of them.
    Morning came all too early for both of them. Alanna was still sleeping when
    Sister Helen, Jeremias' wife came to see why she was not already at work.
    She laid a thin calloused hand on Alanna's forehead and took a look at her
    face. Without a word she disappeared. Nick eased himself carefully in the bed
    cautiously putting strain on the wounded leg. He had been doing this more
    and more each day, hiding most of his efforts from even Alanna. She tended
    to scold him if he overextended himself. He was pleased to note that it could
    be bent and moved without much pain. He had barely put the covers back
    when, with barely civilized knock, Brother Jeremias entered the room.
    "My woman says that yours is ill." He looked peevish.
    Nick had a flash of inspiration. "She's in the family way Brother. It looks like we
    will be staying with you for a while longer. I hope you don't mind." Nick tried to
    look humble and failed miserably. Luckily, Jeremias was so overjoyed that he
    missed the bad acting.
    "The Lord has blessed us." He threw up his hands.
    "Amen." Nick added dryly. "1 think she will be all right soon. But some rest will
    do her good. He laid a protective hand on Alanna's shoulder. He could still feel
    the fever in her body.
    "My husband is too kind." Alanna said in a raspy whisper. "1 am not worthy ."
    The sarcastic tone was lost on Brother Jeremias.
    "Well perhaps a rest of a few days would not be too amiss." Brother Jeremias
    said generously. He was already counting on Brother Nicholas' broad shoulders
    in the coming work to be done. With a great deal of zeal he began a long
    winded involved sermon grossly laced with innuendos about being fruitful and
    multiplying. They both gave a great sigh of relief when he finally left.
    "Family way? Couldn't ye think of anything else?" Alanna pulled the covers
    around herself and off of Nick.
    "Worked didn't it?" Nick said and tucked the blanket more firmly around her. In
    the morning light she looked terrible with dark smudges under her eyes and
    pale face. They were interrupted by Sister Helen who brought in a groaning
    tray of food. She came and went silently as usual.
    "Now that really worked! We haven't seen this much food in two weeks! Hah! I
    knew they were holding out on good stuff. Want an apple?"
    "No. I'm not hungry." She turned over on her other side away from him.
    "Well, I am." Nick swung his legs out of the bed and barely hobbling walked
    around it to sit next to her. She glared at him through bloodshot bleary eyes.
    "Ye've been practicing." She said sourly.
    "Ummhmm." Nick said with his mouth full of juicy apple. "You know, if we get
    this amount of food for a couple of days we could put enough aside to get out
    of here."
    "Don't ever listen to what I think..."She muttered into the folds of the blanket
    and then poked her head out. "D'ye think so? We could leave?" Her gaze was
    hopeful.
    "Yes. Maybe four or five days. That is if," He raised a finger to her and
    swallowed a bit of apple. "You behave yourself and get some rest and eat."
    "Yer so good at giving orders." She muttered again and glared sleepily.
    "I'm the boss." He glared back but patted her on the shoulder .
    "1 know, I know."
    The next three days were hard on them both. Alanna was grumpy with fever
    and uncomfortable. Plus Brother Jeremias began to visit all too often to
    expand on Nick's share of the coming winter's work load. They found that if
    Alanna began to look if she were about to be sick, the man would leave hastily
    and not come back for many hours. While Alanna reluctantly rested Nick began
    to prepare for their escape. There actually wasn't 't much to it, other than
    hording food and making a bag to carrying their provisions in. Nick found
    himself chafing at the imposed imprisonment and inactivity . He also found it
    increasingly difficult to share the small space with Alanna. It had been different
    with her almost always falling asleep immediately. Now, she tossed and turned,
    and in the small bed body contact was inevitable. As a result, Nick found
    himself more out of the bed than in it and slipping out to visit the outhouse
    more than he was comfortable with. He found himself fighting with Alanna just
    to try to keep the distance between them. He set his jaw tightly when he caught the hurt
    look on her face in unguarded moments. Things unfortunately boiled over all too soon.
    Nick was pacing the small cabin, stretching his leg. Alanna was sitting up and
    fidgeting with the sling and the bindings on her broken arm. Nick had noticed
    her picking at it earlier. It was on the tip of his tongue to offer to adjust the
    bandages, but the thought of her smooth skin under his hands, the warmth
    radiating from her, he scowled. He turned to look out of the small window. The
    view was singularly unexciting, only revealing a row of bushes and something
    that was supposed to be an irrigation ditch. An almost inaudible gasp made
    him turn. That darn woman had the splint off and was cautiously flexing the
    arm.
    "What the heck are you doing?" The arm couldn't be healed quite yet, he'd
    seen the bruises. He knew it was his fault that it was broke and dislocated.
    "It's much better. If we are leaving soon, I need both of my arms." Her voice
    was calm and reasonable, something that always infuriated him, especially
    when she was doing something he was sure was wrong.
    "Dammit Alanna, you could damage that arm permanently if you don 't keep it
    in the splint until it heals." Two strides took him to stand over her
    threateningly .
    " Aye, I well know that, but as it is mostly healed..."
    "Mostly! What if it isn't 't? What if you make it worse? You could end up
    crippled! Do you think I could live with that?"
    "It's my arm, I should know..." She began faintly drawing back slightly from
    the tirade.
    "1 broke it. Don 't you remember? I could feel it break, pull to pieces! You
    were trying to hold me and I broke it!" Nick's own hands were clenched into
    fists at his side.
    "No.1 let go. It must have broke when I was in the river ."
    "Yeah. You let go, you did'nt 't have a choice. I pulled your arm out of it's
    socket." For all of his harsh words, there was nothing he wanted to do more
    at that moment then to pick her up in his arms and hold her close, rain kisses
    on that pale face. A surge of desire shot through him and he turned away
    quickly.
    "1 thought ye were mad, because I Let go, couldn't 't hold ye, but it is me ye
    find so disgraceful. "
    "That's a fool notion." Nick growled.
    "Ye can barely stand the sight of me, no less touch me."
    He was angry with his own lack of control. "You're right. It is difficult, so don't
    make it worse." Somehow he knew it came out all wrong when he saw the pain
    and devastation on her face.
    In the end, it was ridiculously easy to escape from Heaven. They left around
    noon when most of the men were in the fields and the women preparing the
    noonday meal together . They tossed the bag of provisions and the rolled up
    blanket out of the small window into the bushes surrounding the small cabin.
    Alanna slipped out and about ten minutes later Nick joined her. At first they
    followed the rough wagon track and then veered off , into the dense woods.
    The going was slow. Nick, despite his leg being healed. felt the strain from
    travelling over the rough ground. Alanna was also easily tired and was soon
    panting with her face red from exertion. She carried the blanket while Nick had
    the heavier bag of supplies. Despite their discomfort they wordlessly continued
    travelling wanting to put as many miles between themselves and Heaven as
    possible.
    "We'll stop here." Nick said finally as the sun was quickly disappearing behind
    the tall trees. "I think we can risk a fire. See if you can gather some small dry
    branches."
    Within a short amount of time they had a small fire and a few potatoes were
    roasting to one side while they sat on pine boughs and ate some bread and
    apples.
    "I'd kill for a cup of coffee." Nick grunted and eased his leg out carefully.
    "And a plate of Heath's beans?" Alanna was rubbing her shoulder
    unconsciously. They had come to an uneasy compromise with her arm. She
    had removed the cumbersome splints, but had kept the sling.
    "We-e-ell, I don 't know as I am that desperate. You want me to adjust that
    sling tighter?"
    She started to pull it off and he stopped her. "No leave it on, I can adjust it
    better that way. I dislocated my shoulder once." He said conversationally as
    she scooted closer with her back to him, sitting in between his legs. "Me and
    this steer had a disagreement about which direction I wanted him to go and he
    wanted to go. The steer won."
    He got the chuckle he wanted from her. "1 think I was about fifteen at the
    time. Father put the shoulder back in place. I think it hurt him as much as it
    did me. Mother is much more calm about these things."
    "Oh aye, my mum was the same. My brothers were always ripping their
    thumbs or getting stomped on by horses. Da would always carry the body in
    and disappear into the barn muttering about the 'puir horses' having to put up
    with me clumsy brothers. Nick laughed and gently began to massage her
    shoulders. He felt her tense up at first and then begin to minutely relax as he
    found knots of tension.
    "Mother used to do this for me. It's not the arm that hurts so bad, it's the
    muscles."
    "Mmmm. Ooo that spot hurts. Aye, my Mum taught me a lot about healing', no
    just for horses mind. She had the foulest smelling liniment."
    Nick laughed his thumbs stroking the base of her neck. Little soft curls of dark
    hair tickled his knuckles. "My mother too."
    She was there slowly leaning against him, the light of the small fire danced
    before them. Maybe this was a good time to settle things between them.
    " Alanna, about what I said the other day. I do like you. Maybe too much." His
    hands stilled on her shoulders gently easing her comfortably on his chest his
    chin resting naturally on the top of her head."There is something you need to
    know about men..."He began and then stopped nervously. "You see Alanna
    men get ah interested and it is kinda hard ah not hard umm difficult to get
    uninterested. It wouldn't be right or fair to you to take advantage. You're too
    nice a woman. Alanna?" He nudged her and got a mutter and a sigh from her.
    She had fallen asleep.
    "Oh well."Nick shrugged and lying down with the limp Alanna draped on him
    pulled the blanket on them both.
    On the second day, they came to the river. They stood on the bank. It wasn't 't
    very wide and the current seemed passive.
    "Hard to figure that this was the same river that we got carried away in, what
    three weeks ago?" Nick said taking off his boots.
    "It's closer to four. Ye probably don't remember the first week too well."
    Alanna stood still looking at the water, her hand reaching unconsciously to rub
    at her shoulder. She continued to stare almost unseeingly at the waters.
    Nick stood up and stripped off his shirt rolling it into a Ball. He began to
    unbutton his trousers and pull them down when he stopped to look at her.
    "Well, come on take off your dress. We'll have to swim a bit in the middle, but
    at least we'll have dry clothes on the other side. " He modestly turned his back
    to her as he stripped to his long underwear. "I'll keep my back turned until
    you are in the water all right?" Nick kept up the idle banter trying to get her to
    feel easy about taking off her clothes to cross the river. "Once we are on the
    other side, it's maybe two, three days to Willow Springs. It's not a big place,
    but we can wire the family from there. You hand me your dress and the
    blanket l'll put it with my stuff. The water will be colder in the middle, so don't
    be surprised." He half turned to look out of the corner of his eye to see what
    she was doing. A wadded up dress was tossed into his face. He added it to his
    clothes stuffed into their provision sack.
    "I'm in the water, Nick and it ain 't none too warm here on the edges either ."
    She complained.
    "Wooeee." Nick said as he himself entered the water. He balanced their pack on
    one shoulder and started wading out into the river. The current was sluggish,
    but still tugged at his feet. All too soon he was up to his waist and Alanna was
    already paddling ineptly behind him.
    "Here put your hand on my shoulder and l'll pull you. Kinda hard to swim with
    only one working arm."
    "Th-thanks." Her teeth were already beginning to chatter .
    Nick felt the bottom disappear out from under his feet and he was forced to
    swim with the pack above the water and Alanna hanging on to one shoulder.
    At one point her hand slid off his shoulder and she slid under the water. He
    could feel her slipping past him, being dragged with the current downstream.
    He plunged his hand into the water and pulled her gasping and coughing to
    the surface. He slung her arm around his neck and with her clinging to his back
    managed to swim towards the shallower water and the other bank.
    They stumbled up on to the far bank. Nick had his arm firmly looped around
    her waist. He finally sat up and let his gaze roam appreciatively over the figure
    revealed by the damp under slip. The sling was a soggy loop around her neck
    and she had both arms wrapped around her middle. He was pleased to see
    that the ugly bonnet had been lost in the swim. "You can't swim can you?" He
    was rewarded by a non-committal grunt.
    Nick Barkley was a straight forward kind of man. Women who admired him
    flirted or approached him with smiles and light touches. They would exchange
    flatteries, kisses and in some he would a feel a pull of attraction that was more
    than just physical. But Alanna did'nt 't play by those rules. She argued with
    him, yet would listen when he needed her obedience. Her loyalty to him was no
    less than to anyone else in his family . Her face would light up with love and joy
    around a new-born colt something his kisses could not bring out. Yet- she had
    followed him with no thought for herself into a flooded river when her ability to
    swim was obviously very limited. This simple crossing they had just made had
    been terrifying for her, but because he led she followed. He made a decision. It
    wouldn't be easy, but he never backed down from challenges.
    " As soon as we get to Willow Springs we'll get married." Nick said bluntly.
    She was silent for a while, then said slowly. "I've not asked that of ye, Nick."
    "I'm going to anyway."
    "I'll say no, then Nick. " She sat up and crossed her arms and tried to look
    defiant, though he was sure he had scared her, scared her bad.
    "No you won 't, cause you don't have a choice." Nick reached out and took
    both of her hands in his, remembering to handle the hurt one gently. "We've
    been living together for almost a month now. People will talk and I care about
    what they will say or think. Heath had to go through hell with me and with a lot
    of others. I'm not putting us through that. You had a choice to follow me into
    the river and now you have to let me make that same kind of decision. "
    "It's not the same."
    "Yes, it is. You remember when I said you have to take responsibility? One of
    the consequences of that is that you are going to marry me."
    "But your Mother, your family ... ?" When she began nervously he knew he
    had won this skirmish though he suspected getting her in front of a preacher
    and saying 'I do' would be another battle.
    "You know that is no problem. Mother likes you already. Heath and Jarrod will
    hold the shotgun. And I suspect Audra's hand in your following us on the
    drive. Get used to the idea Alanna, but remember it is partially your doing." He
    tempered the hard words he had used by pulling her closer and kissing her
    forehead gently. "I'll be good to you Alanna. "
    "But Nick, ye don't even like me."
    "You 're wrong. I like you just fine Alanna. We better get going, I want to put
    a few more miles in today ."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Jarrod stood at the window of the hotel room. The sun was barely rising and
    not much was stirring in the small town. It was rare for him to be up before
    Heath, but Heath had tied one on last night. He had drank himself quietly into
    oblivion trusting his older brother to carry his limp body back to the shabby
    hotel room. Jarrod rested his forehead thankfully on the cool window panes,
    his breath immediately fogging the glass. He envied Heath's loss of control last
    night. He wished he could do the same, maybe he would when they got back
    home. They had spent days searching. Days that were stolen. Today they
    would go home. Heath for the second time empty handed.
    He caught a blur of movement through the fogged glass and he casually wiped
    his hand across the glass to look out. A burly bearded man was limping down
    the street with a young woman dressed in homespun. They seemed to be
    arguing. 'Farmers' he thought idly. His attention was brought back to the
    room when he heard a groan come from the bed.
    "My head." Heath moaned and tried to roll to a sitting position.
    "Easy brother ." Jarrod said striding to his side. "You tied on a good one last
    night." He looked again at Heath 's green face and hastily brought over a bowl,
    just in time.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "We'll see ye to a doctor first." Alanna was arguing.
    "First the wire. Then a bath and a meal...round up a preacher, "Nick argued
    just as heatedly.
    They had been up since dawn and had been scrapping the whole morning.
    Without a word Alanna kicked him in the leg, the uninjured one. Surprised by
    the low blow Nick stumbled and fell clutching the bruised shin. "What n ' hell
    did you do that for?" He glared up at her .
    She stood over him her hands on her hips and glared back. The sling now
    adorned her head, she was ridiculously sensitive about the once shaved head
    that now boasted a crop of tiny black curls. "Jest to show what a stubborn
    fool ye are Nick Barkley. Yer leg has been givin' ye trouble for the last days and
    it's to a doctor ye're goin'."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "Do you think you need a doctor?" Jarrod asked Heath half seriously. His
    younger brother had just spent the last half hour emptying his stomach of
    what seemed to be the last two weeks meals.
    Heath managed a weak glare and an unintelligible mutter that Jarrod
    recognized as a slur. "He's your father too, don't forget."
    "Just let me die in peace...ah hell." Heath groaned at his awful choice of words.
    "Jarrod, I'm sorry."
    "It's all right. Heath. I know." Jarrod helped his brother lie back and covered
    him with a blanket. "You want me to stay, or I could go out for a walk...?
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "Well, walking on it didn't help." The doctor said sourly as he mercilessly poked
    Nick's leg.
    "Yeah well, we did'nt 't have much choice. Those people weren't 't ready to let us
    go. Darn near prisoners." Nick winced as the doctor found a sensitive spot.
    "Hurts there? Weird bunch all right. Come into town about twice a year for
    supplies. Tight lipped, tight pursed and tight minded. You and your wife were
    lucky to get out of there. Does that hurt?" He pressed on a particularly
    sensitive spot. Nick's curse answered his question.
    "She's not my wife. Yet." Nick hissed between his teeth. He could have sworn
    that the leg wasn't hurting this much before they went to the doctor .
    "Got a pocket of infection in there. I'm going to have to lance it. Not yet huh?
    We aren't as strict as the Heaven folk but you were how long there?" He
    started to gather a small collection of nasty sharp instruments and a pile of
    clean towels.
    " A month or so. Going to hurt?"
    " How soon you figure on marrying her? After I drain it, it should be a lot
    better, but you shouldn't put any undue strain on it."
    "Today ." Nick gripped the edge of the examination table in readiness.
    "Right now ." The doctor picked up a sharp knife. "Then you have to take it
    easy. Rest. No walking. No hmm exercise." He dug in with the knife taking
    Nick's mind off his immediate surroundings.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Jarrod waited patiently for his brother to wake up. He had a book in his lap,
    but had read the same page at least ten times without really paying any
    attention to the words. They had spent a week combing the area around the
    river. Heath had driven himself to almost overturn every rock to lift every tree
    branch that floated looking for a sign - any sign of Nick or Alanna. Jarrod had
    been driven just as feverishly and they had both exhausted themselves.
    Coming to Willow Spring was their tacit agreement that the search was over.
    Now only time would heal the losses to them, to the family.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Alanna paced nervously, sitting on the hard bench in the doctor's waiting room
    and then only to bounce up and pace the floor again. The fact that she'd been
    able to persuade the stubborn beast to go to the doctor was almost as
    worrying as his wounded leg. She winced at Nick's bellow of pain and then
    turned even paler when silence followed. It seemed long minutes before the
    doctor came out.
    "You can go see him now. I'll be bringing back the minister ." He shrugged as
    the young woman dashed into his surgery before he could even leave. Young
    folk were in such a hurry these days.
    The lancing of the infected wound had taken a lot out of Nick and he lay
    shaken, pale and rather green from the experience. At least the leg throbbed
    with more honest pain than the deep agony that had been growing. It seemed
    that Alanna's sensitivity for equine pains and ills was extended to him,
    something he wasn't 't sure was a flattering idea. The doctor had kindly offered
    to go get the preacher so that he could arrange the wedding ceremony. He
    wasn't going to let Alanna get away with everything.
    He wasn't quite prepared for Alanna's flying entrance and the fierce hug she
    gave him. "Ah Nick, please don't ye leave me. I canna bear it. I canna." Her
    accent was unusually thick with emotion. Her head was buried in his shoulder
    and although she wasn't 't crying he could feel her shivering.
    Nick moaned involuntarily and then realized that she thought he was dying.
    This was the perfect opportunity!
    " Alanna?" He said in a weak voice. "You were right." She went to raise her
    head to look at him, but he held it down on his chest with a very firm hand. He
    wasn't 't exactly going to lie, but he wasn't 't going to take any chances with his
    acting ability . "The doctor , well...Listen he went for the minister, I want you
    to marry me. Promise me. I need to know that you will be safe, if ah when "
    this was the tricky part. "You know. " He whispered.
    There was a long silence. Nick felt his heart beating loudly. Would she
    promise? He ventured a cough that sounded even fake to him.
    Heath stirred slightly and then opened his eyes cautiously. From the quality of
    light he figured that it was late morning, almost noon. Jarrod sat in a chair
    near the window reading a book.
    "Thanks for stayin ", Heath said quietly.
    "No trouble." Jarrod said and closed the book carefully. "Feel up to a meal?"
    "1 reckon I could eat." Heath cautiously swung his legs up and sat on the edge
    of the bed.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "I'm not hungry." Alanna sulked.
    "You still mad at me?" Nick asked, "It's gonna be awful tough to be mad at me
    for the rest of our lives, after all you did promise."
    "You tricked me into promising to marry ye. l'll keep my promise, don 't ye ask
    me for more. Not now anyway." Alanna sniffed and turned away from him.
    They were sitting outside the telegraph office waiting for the operator to come
    back after what seemed to be a lengthy lunch break. In two hours they were
    to stand in the little church and get married.
    "The minister's wife was kind enough to make us some sandwiches. Figure we
    could eat them." Nick eased his leg a little, wincing. "We are pretty dependent
    on folk's charity until Jarrod can wire the bank. "
    "I'm going to the minister's now. The missus promised me a bath and the loan
    of a clean dress. Ye don't need me." She stood up and twitched at the shabby
    head scarf keeping it in place.
    Nick grabbed her wrist before she could turn away. "You know I couldn't 't have
    made it without you. Go on now, get yourself pretty ."
    She snorted. "If ye want pretty Mr. Barkley, ye better marry someone else."
    "You folk waiting to send a wire?" A tall thin individual with traces of his recent
    meal still gracing his vest came to the door. Alanna took the opportunity to
    pull her wrist out of Nick's grasp.
    "Yeah." Despite his impatience Nick took a moment to watch as Alanna headed
    down the street kicking up dust unnecessarily. He wondered if she realized
    that the marriage ceremony was another kind of promise that he hoped she
    would keep. After all it was for her own good and protection.
    "Well? You gonna send it or not? It's bout time fur my afternoon siesta." the
    telegraph operator complained.
    "You don't get much business here, do you?" Nick followed him into the little
    office trying not to limp.
    "Ain't none of yer business feller. Telegraph business is confidential. I am
    sworn to secrecy. Now, where to?"
    "Stockton. Barkley Ranch. We are well and on our way home...."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "...love Heath and Jarrod." Heath leaned on the telegraph counter. He didn't
    notice how twitchy the telegraph operator was acting. Jarrod was getting the
    horses from the stable while he sent a telegram home to let them know they
    were on their way back.
    "Two bits. You're lucky mister, I was just closing up for the day. I always
    closes early on Wednesdays."
    "It's only two thirty. You don't get much business here, do you?"
    "Ain't none of yer business feller. Telegraph business is confidential. I am
    sworn to secrecy ."
    Though he would go home to his wife and tell her that he had sent two
    telegrams off to the same place from two different men. Strange.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    It was a festive day at the Barkley ranch. And Barkley's took celebrating seriously. Not a
    penny was pinched, no guest left uninvited, no detail was forgot. After all, it wasn't every day
    that a Barkley got married.
    Despite the short notice, everybody who was anybody was there. Victoria, with the able
    talents of Silas had created the perfect setting for her middle son's rushed wedding Flowers
    decorated the hall and the sitting room was packed with well-dressed friends and visitors.
    Every chair was filled and many were standing. This was one event no one wanted to miss!
    Even though Lohengren's the wedding march was played on a piano and violin, to the guests
    it sounded as if there was a whole symphony orchestra in the room. With a flair for theatrics
    rarely seen outside of New York, London, or a certain cat house in Pennsylvania, Victoria
    directed the wedding. She and Jarrod stood on one side while Heath supported his brother as
    best man. Audra had been the bridesmaid causing gasps of awe and pleasure at her beauty in
    the tasteful rose colored dress.
    The music paused, and the bride entered the room. The dress was heavy white satin with tiny
    pearls sewed on the bodice. A full long train whispered over the highly polished floors, the
    fine lace veil covered the woman's features. A low murmur ran through the crowd. The
    Barkley's had smiles glued on their faces.
    As she walked closer to the altar the murmurs grew more distinct. "Who is she?" "Don't
    know." "Strange." Her steps slowed and faltered. Victoria beckoned surreptitiously. Heath
    winked at her behind Nick's back.
    She reached the altar and Nick turned and with a solemn face lifted up the veil to reveal her
    dirty face.
    Someone tittered. It was joined by another. The titter became a giggle. Victoria frowned
    slightly at the bride as if it were her fault.
    "Shall we begin?" The deep voice of the preacher cut across the mirth.
    "What for?" A voice called out, "Nobody in their right mind would marry a stick like that."
    His remark got a wave of laughter. Audra buried her giggle in a handkerchief. Heath winked.
    It seemed more of a nervous twitch this time. Jarrod coughed behind his hand.
    Alanna felt a cold chill run up her spine as she turned to look up at Nick hopefully. He
    frowned at her. "This was your choice." She shivered goose bumps running down her bare
    arms and back.
    "I've brought you some more hot water dear." The voice of the minister's wife cut across
    Alanna's day dream. She sighed as the hot water mixed with the cold of the little tub. She felt
    like six months of dirt had accumulated on her instead of a day or two. Not that she counted
    the swim across the river a proper bath.
    "Now my dear," the kind lady began in a firm voice, "Since your own mother isn't here there
    are a few things you should know about marriage..."
    Nick was all too aware of the woman standing by his side in the nearly empty church. The
    minister's wife had arranged a dress for Alanna complete with a veil. A few flowers adorned
    the
    altar and she played "I love you truly" on the piano. It could have been worse. He himself was
    supplied with a worn but clean shirt from the charity bin and had the opportunity to shave
    and
    clean up.
    He kinda wished that she did'nt 't have that veil on. It was hard to read her mood through a
    shield of cream lace. The blue sprigged muslin dress looked nice, though had obviously been
    hastily basted to fit her. He crammed down the niggling thoughts of doubt that seemed to
    intrude on his logical frame of thought. He owed this to Alanna. She would learn to thank
    him for this. As for himself, well, he liked her well enough. She was good company when
    not fighting uselessly with him. Not bad to look at either. Despite her own protestations, he
    thought she looked nice and the way she kissed...He wrenched his thoughts back to the
    ceremony at hand.
    "Nicholas Jonathon Barkley, do you solemnly declare that you take Alanna as your wife, and
    do you promise that you will, with the gracious help of God, love, honor, and care for her,
    live with her in the holy bonds of marriage according to God's ordinance, and never forsake
    her, so long as you both shall live?"
    "1 do." He answered firmly.
    "Alanna James O'Shannon, do you solemnly declare that you take Nicholas as your husband,
    and do you promise that you will, with the gracious help of God, love, honor, and obey him
    in all things lawful, live with him in the holy bonds of marriage according to God's
    ordinance, and never forsake him so long as you both shall live?"
    Nick held his breath for what seemed like a terribly long time.
    "1 do." Her voice was quiet but determined.
    "Then by the authority vested in me by the state of California I pronounce you man and wife.
    You may kiss the bride."
    Nick raised the veil and smiled down at his wife. He framed her face with his hands and
    kissed the upturned face. This wasn't their first kiss, but it was so different. Nick felt like he
    was being drawn into something warm and bottomless. A stir of desire deepened the kiss and
    his hands dropped to pull her against him. A loud indiscreet cough from the minister broke
    up the very interesting experience.
    "I'll get your marriage lines for you. " He offered.
    "Oh it was a lovely wedding. The bride looked so sweet. Didn't she Mr .Barkley?" The
    minister's wife was bubbling with enthusiasm. "Now you two can come over for supper and
    I've made up a bed in the back room. Just until you get on your feet." She smiled
    unselfconsciously at the horrible double-entendre.
    "If you don't mind ma'am. I think Alanna and I will go to the telegraph office and see if there
    has been any news. We'll be back later." Nick smiled winningly, his arm draped firmly
    around Alanna's shoulders.
    "Oh yes of course." The lady burbled happily. "You lovebirds need some time together . Why
    I remember when Hiram, that's the minister my dears, and I were first courting..."
    "Here is your marriage certificate." The minister came in time to rescue them from the
    well-meaning lady's meanderings. "Come along Imogen, Let's leave them in peace for a
    while."
    He was a charitable man, but having this couple in their house, for who knows how long was
    going to be a trial. It wasn't the first time a couple came to get married after the fact, he was
    just grateful that they had decided to make things right in the sight of God.
    Alanna handed the veil carefully back to the woman with a smile and a quiet thank you. She
    pulled the ugly scarf out of her pocket and was putting it on when Nick caught her hands.
    "No. I like you without it. You can't wear a scarf until it grows all the way back. Please."
    He added when she hesitated.
    " Are ye going to push the obey thing? Doesn't seem fair."
    " All right." Nick said reasonably and tucked her hand under his arm left the church for the
    short stroll to the telegraph office. "Tell you what. You can care for me and I'll obey you -
    sometimes."
    Alanna gave an unladylike snort. "I'll be holding you to that promise Nick Barkley. Obey me,
    like when pigs can fly."
    "Oh c'mon. I'm not _that_ unreasonable, am I, " Nick grinned widely at her "Alanna Barkley?"
    "Oh." She squeaked.
    He felt a small shiver ripple through her. Concerned he stopped and taking her shoulders in
    his large capable hands turned her to look at him. She seemed to be avoiding his gaze
    "1 know this is rushed and a little new, well really new, but sweetheart I'm sure we can learn
    to care," He paused as she pulled away from him to try to look around him.
    "Nick, I think, "She began to look agitated.
    "1 said we'll learn to care. Dammit Alanna!" He yelled in exasperation as she pushed at him.
    "It's Charger! I'm sure I saw Charger! It must be Heath! Quick Nick before they get away."
    she began to look around for a horse to borrow. Before Nick could grab her again she was
    pelting up the street with her skirts held high. She grabbed the reins of a paint out of the
    owner's hands and was vaulting into the saddle much to his protest and dismay when a pair of
    strong arms pulled her forcibly out of the saddle.
    "You keep that woman of yours off the streets ! " The paint' s disgruntled owner yelled at
    Nick who held a struggling Alanna in his arms. His Ieg hurt from the sprint to catch his
    almost runaway wife.
    "What are you doing? Are you crazy? We aren't married five minutes and you are already
    doing something ridiculous!" Nick was furious.
    "Oh like saving your worthless hide was ridiculous. Like everything I do is ridiculous. Well, I
    married you. That is ridiculous!" She shot back angrily. "I know horses, I saw Charger. Now
    it's too late! "
    "I didn't say that! Don't make me regret this." Nick warned. Things were going too far, too
    fast. He had the urge to grab her and paddle her behind like he did at the drive camp. He had
    then a flash of Heath's disapproval to that action and his hands dropped to his sides.
    They stood silent for a moment letting the physical and the mental dust settle. Alanna turned
    her back to him and put her hands over her face.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    They had gotten a really late start from town. Both of them were strangely reluctant to leave.
    Yet as they left the town, both kicked their horses into a brisk trot. They had barely left the
    last building behind when both horses started behaving strangely. Charger reared and turned
    so that he was heading back into the town.
    "What the.." Heath said and pulled the horse around . Charger, just as firmly, turned his head
    the other direction. "You fool horse." Heath said and pulled tightly on the reins. They played
    tug of war until Heath won.
    Meanwhile Jarrod was having the same problems with Jingo. Jingo finally laid back his ears
    and neatly bucked Jarrod off. The startled lawyer was an experienced horseman and only his
    dignity was bruised. He gave the horse a stern look and a sharp tug on the reins. "Now, stop
    that! You hear?" He shot a glance at his brother who was trying not to snicker. "You too!"
    Then without any more trouble they turned their horse's heads towards home.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Nick entered the little room with the candle. It was no bigger than the noisome hole they had
    to endure in Heaven, but the difference was like night and day. A small fireplace cast a
    warmth and glow to the room which was dominated by a large feather bed adorned with a
    soft crocheted wool blanket. Rugs were everywhere covering rough boards and a small
    bouquet of porcelain flowers adorned the small bedside table. Propped up by several very
    large pillows Alanna was sitting up waiting for him. The firelight flickered across her face
    brightening it one moment throwing it into shadow the next. His own smile was distorted by
    the flickering of the candle giving him an unusually ghoulish look.
    They both stared at one another for a Iong minute. This was their wedding night. Nick
    carefully put the candle on the night table.
    "Been a long day ." He said carefully and fidgeted with his shirt buttons. They had been
    sharing a bed, however innocently, for about a month now. This would be no different than
    before, just more comfortable. Why did he feel ill at ease? He'd just had a bath and shaved,
    why did he feel sweaty and sticky? Alanna looked like an angel all cool and ethereal. The
    borrowed white lace nightgown was demurely up to her neck and the long sleeves fell over
    her hands.
    " Aye." She was knotting and unknotting her fingers in the lace tangling them both up, but
    her gaze never left his
    He unbuttoned the shirt and removed it under that steady gaze. It was slightly unnerving, but
    he continued disrobing down to the long johns.
    "Are you nervous?" He asked nervously. He sat on the side of the bed leaning over to put his
    hands bracketing her hips.
    " Oh aye, but Nick, can I ask ye something?" Her eyes met his directly.
    "Of course." Nick reached out to touch her cheek gently.
    "Well the minister's wife told me some things about being married, ye know what will
    happen."
    "Yeah, that's good. So you know what you and I _ah_ you know."
    "She made it sound like ye will be half killing me and that I won't like it." She added hastily.
    "It's just that what Suzy told me was so different. I just wanted to know which one to
    believe."
    "Suzy? Who the hell is Suzy?"
    "Ye know, the girl at Lily's in Alameda. She told me all sorts things about what men and
    women do. It sounded ever so much nicer than what the minister's wife told me."
    "Oh dear God." Nick breathed. His mouth was dry and if he felt nervous before, now he felt
    doubly so.
    Alanna looked at him hopefully. "Ye do know what ye are doin' don 't ye Nick?"
    "Not anymore."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "Jarrod?" Heath lay on his back, looking up at the very bright stars. A campfire between the
    two men gave little warmth to the chill of autumn, but the play of the flames were a
    comforting sight. "Do you believe in heaven?"
    "Well, yeah. I guess I do." Jarrod propped himself on one elbow to look at his little brother.
    "Why?"
    "Well, I never used to, not even when Mama died. Kinda hard to believe in heaven iffen you
    think that God has taken away someone ya love. The war didn't help none either. Kinda like
    to think that there is a heaven though."
    "Why is that?" Jarrod asked. Heath wasn't much of a talker, but that didn't mean he wasn't a
    deep thinker. When he did ponder something the words were worth listening to.
    "Well, a real kind of heaven. Not what the preachers say is clouds and angels and singin'
    hymns. The kind where a man can be happy. Meet old friends, chew the fat, ride hard and
    long and the sun in your face and at night the stars so bright you can reach out and touch
    em."
    "Sounds like the kind of heaven I'd like to go." Jarrod said quietly.
    "I like to think that's where Nick is. Whoopin' and hollerin' and riding up a storm and
    that...well Father would be there with him."
    Jarrod felt tears sting his eyes and for a moment he couldn't speak past the lump in his throat.
    "Yeah. That would be Nick's heaven."
    Jarrod lay back down and both men were silent as they watched the slow march of the rising
    moon.
    "There have to be horses in heaven." Jarrod said suddenly.
    "Ya figger?" Heath asked.
    "How else would Alanna be happy?"
    Heath gave a low chuckle. "Reckon so. If they do, she'll be surrounded by horses. Nick won't
    be able to get close to her. You ever see her walk by the corral? The horses would follow
    along the fence and then stay bunched up at the end near the house and wait for her to come
    out again. Then they would follow her to the barn side and wait there."
    "Horse magnet." Jarrod laughed.
    Silence fell between the two men. Again, the comfortable silence and a sort of peace of mind
    settled over the two men. The campfire began to burn down as the moon rose higher. The
    natural sounds of the night were joined by the unnatural buzz of Jarrod's snoring and the
    small horsey movements made by Charger and Jingo.
    "BOY HOWDY!!!" Heath sat straight up and yelled. Jarrod had his gun in his hand and was
    on his feet before he was even awake enough to see straight.
    "Jarrod! The horses! The horses know!!!" Heath shot to his feet and began to break camp at a
    frenzied pace.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    The first thing he felt was something damp trickle across his chest. He twitched as it made
    it's way across his broad pectorals and meandered down his breastbone to pool rather
    uncomfortably just above his belly. He swiped at it absentmindedly and brushed against
    something soft and yielding. Soft and yielding and with cold feet pressed unsettlingly against
    his warm legs.
    Nick opened his eyes and looked down at Alanna curled half on top of him. Her mouth was
    half open and the dampness was from her drool. It reminded him of the time in Alameda,
    when they had shared a bed. But then he had thought her a boy. Now, she was here in his
    bed, and this wasn't a boy snuggled up against him. His wife. Unfortunately, in name only so
    far. His mind went to the other experience in Alameda, when he had taken her to a local
    bordello thinking it would be a good experience for the boy. Last night, their wedding night,
    she had told him what had really happened that night, and that Suzy had told her a few
    truths' about sex. So had the minister's wife. Leaving a very confused Alanna and a very
    tight spot for Nick. To make matters more complicated they had both fallen asleep,
    exhausted by the long day and their own journey walking out of Heaven. What a way to start
    married life!
    She was aware of the heat, the welcoming warmth that her cold feet instinctively reached for.
    Then there was the warmth of skin, bare skin under her cheek. Alanna felt her breath
    quicken. Sleeping with Nick in Heaven had been for mutual warmth and because there was
    no other place. On the trail to Willow Springs it had been much the same. She had been so
    tired that she could have slept standing up or at least leant against a tree. She felt the
    smoothness of his skin under her fingertips and she felt a strange feeling in the pit of her
    stomach and a tightness in her chest. Like the first time he had kissed her. This was her
    husband. Nick had married her.
    She trembled slightly and her mouth closed and eyes opened to look into his.
    "We'll start with learning how to kiss." Nick said and smiled gently.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Jarrod ducked and cursed as a branch whipped out at him from the uncertain light of the
    early dawn. He wasn't quite sure why he was riding recklessly fast back along the trail
    towards Willow Springs. When Heath had woken him up so abruptly, he had started talking
    loudly about horses knowing and Alanna. And where Alanna was Nick was sure to be nearby.
    He had finally caught his babbling brother by the shoulders . "What are you talking about?!
    Heath!?"
    Heath looked at him as if he were stupid and then sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
    "When we left Willow Springs and the horses acted up for no reason...it had to be Alanna.
    They knew she was there." His gaze was steady, even in the uncertain moonlight.
    Jarrod was silent for what seemed a long time. "All right. We go back. But at dawn."
    "Be dawn in an hour or so." Heath said with a practiced eye.
    "I'll make coffee." Jarrod said.
    They had started even before the sun had begun to peep over the horizon. Both men were
    silent, lost in their own thoughts, their own hopes.
    "Father," Jarrod prayed silently, "Where ever you are and where ever they are, look after
    Nick and Alanna."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "Buy you a beer, Doc?" The town minister approached his friend in the local saloon. It was
    fairly early in the day for drinking, but from the looks of the Doctor he'd been up all night
    with a patient.
    "Prefer whiskey, but then I'd probably fall flat on my face drunk." The doctor growled.
    "What are you doing here so early? Imogen get wise and throw you out?"
    "Hardly. Remember the couple I married yesterday?"
    "Oh yeah the abscessed leg. The ones that the Heaven bunch had kept prisoners. What about
    them?"
    "They are staying in our back room."
    The doctor snorted fruitily " I told him to take it easy with the leg. Guess not huh?"
    The minister gave him a poisonous look that didn't fool his old friend, the doctor.
    "Come on Hiram, surely you remember how is was when you were first married?"
    "Wasn't THAT lively." The minister looked offended.
    "Knowin' Imogen it never will be." The doctor added and tempered the insult with a
    knowing grin.
    "HE was doing the yelling not her." The minister's mouth twitched. "Big fellow like him and
    a little thing like her, too."
    "Damn!" The doctor said admiringly.
    "Blasphemy." The minister intoned and took a long sip of his beer. He wasn't referring to the
    doctor's curse.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Nick grinned as he watched Alanna button up her dress. It was only their second try to get out
    of the little room. He'd been helping her the first time when the buttoning had turned to
    unbuttoning and then from there to...ah well there was later for that sort of thing. Again. He
    caught sight of his own face in the small mirror over the dresser. Lord what an idiotic grin
    was plastered on his face! As if the whole town couldn't hear. What Alanna lacked in skill
    was made up in enthusiasm. The first time had been awkward. Well, he'd had to hurt her and
    that wasn't easy. The second time had been better. To his surprise, there had been a third
    time. He hadn't been so frisky since he was 17! Married life was his idea of heaven!
    She turned for his approval. The blue dress that she had worn yesterday seemed prettier
    today. She looked prettier. There was a faint blush of rose to her cheeks and her eyes seemed
    so large and bright, her mouth...he swallowed. A quick learner his Alanna. His rumbling
    stomach slightly quelled other feelings. It was well past noon and they needed to eat. Eat so
    that there would be energy later.
    ****
    Despite hard riding, they had arrived back at Willow Springs sometime late in the morning.
    "Now what?" Jarrod asked.
    Heath looked around uneasily. "What if I'm wrong Jarrod? What a fool I was trying to bring
    back Nick. I'm sorry."
    Jarrod manouevered Jingo next to his brother and laid a hand on his arm. "It isn't foolish. I
    think we sometimes have to trust in things that we can't understand. I trust your feelings,
    Heath. Now, let's go find Alanna and Nick." At his brother's open-mouthed expression of
    amazement at his words, he added. "Just because I'm a lawyer doesn't mean I have to be
    logical all the time."
    Heath managed a grin. " Well shall we let the horses do the looking?"
    With total disregard for the trust put in them, Charger and Jingo spent the next half an hour
    visiting water troughs and sampling bales of hay at the livery stable. Jingo was just nibbling
    on a rhododendren bush that was in someone's yard when the irate lady came out with a
    broom to chase them off.
    Heath got off Charger and patted him on the neck. "C'mon boy, where is she?" The horse
    bobbed his head sympathetically and stretched out his neck for a bite of the forbidden
    bush.The curtains in the house fluttered as the outraged lady watched them.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Nick wasn't sure what was more fun, making Alanna blush or getting his plate piled with
    more food than they had both seen in over a month.
    "Wonderful pancakes ma'am. Want a _taste_ Alanna dear? Just a _nibble_?" He licked his lips
    while the lady's back was turned.
    "Nick!" She gave him a nudge with her elbow and turned a becoming shade of pink.
    "Here! Get out of my garden!" The lady dropped her frying pan with a bang on the stove and
    grabbing a broom went whisking out the door. Nick took the opportunity of the momentary
    distraction to lean across the table and kiss Alanna. He already had his mouth full of pancake
    when the lady came back in. Alanna had two bright spots of color on her cheeks and was
    trying to eat though it was hard to do through her giggling fit.
    The minister's wife shot her a frosty glance. "Can't let any horses in my garden. Cowboys!"
    She said with disgust.
    "Oh aye, cowboys. Terrible they are." Alanna chimed in and looked directly at Nick. The
    corner of his mouth twitched.
    The lady abandoned breakfast and was standing at the window half hidden by the highly
    starched curtains. "Hmmpphh. If Hiram was here, he'd send them packing."
    "Ah. Allow me." Nick wiped his mouth with the napkin, drained his cup of coffee, and stood
    up.
    "Oh, but Mr.Barkley..." The lady twittered. "There are two of them and they look rough."
    "Tis all right." Alanna said calmly. "Nick hasn't had a good fight for weeks. It'll make his
    breakfast settle better. Isn't that right Nick?"
    Nick snorted, but as he went out the door Alanna shot after him. "And no tickling mind!"
    Nick felt an unnatural heat rise to his face. So, he was ticklish, in certain places...
    The minister's wife was watching the show from the window. "Aren't you worried?"
    "Feel sorry for the two cowboys." Alanna said calmly and put another bite of syrup covered
    pancake in her mouth. She eyed Nick's plate and wondered if he'd be long. She'd eat his
    before it got too cold.
    They could hear the voices from inside the house, not the words but loud tones came through.
    "Oh. They are both ganging up on him. Should we go get the Sheriff!"The lady had eyes as
    wide as saucers.
    Alanna was forking Nick's pancakes onto her plate and the fork stopped in midair as she
    thought for a moment.
    "Oh drat the man. Never get to eat proper around him." She muttered and grabbing the
    broom went out to join the fray.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    The two men had Nick in a tight hold between them, but as Alanna raised the broom in a
    sweeping defense of her husband she realized that they weren't fighting. They were pounding
    each other on the back and hugging and, and, to her great surprise all three were crying.
    "Alanna!" Someone said and she and the broom were swept up into a melee of three grown
    men and two horses that were also trying to greet her. The broom nearly skewered someone
    until it was pulled out of her hand and thrown into the abused rhododren bush.
    Alanna found herself swung up into the air and then kissed very thoroughly by Heath. At
    some point Jarrod was hugging her and Nick at the same time with her being rather
    uncomfortably squished in between the two big men. Somehow, she didn't mind. Everyone
    was talking or shouting or hugging at once. She was even given the horse version of happy
    greetings by a slobber on her shoulder. Heath kissed her again to her embarrassment.
    "Hey! That's my wife you're kissing!" Nick's voice boomed out and Alanna staggered a bit
    as she was dropped like a hot potato.
    "Boy Howdy! Boy Howdy!" Heath stammered and turned red.
    "Good!" Jarrod said heartily, "Then I can kiss the bride." His kiss was more brotherly than
    Heath's had been, but rather nice too. Alanna found herself then pulled rather possessively
    against Nick's side, his arm holding her firmly to him. There was a silent moment and then
    all four of them joined together in a warm, hard hug.
    The next hours were spent in some sort of controlled chaos. The Minister was dragged from
    the bar and given a healthy donation to the church by the grateful Barkley family. The largest
    and only suite of rooms in the hotel was rented for the night. Heath ran out of euphemisms
    for married (hitched, tied the knot, hog-tied ect.). Horses were put into the livery stable after
    a little fussing over and extra oats as a treat for finding Nick and Alanna. Stomachs began to
    rumble from missed meals. They finally settled down to eat at the hotel dining room. Silence
    reigned for the first time as all four set to do justice to a hearty stew and fresh biscuits
    followed by a large apple pie and coffee. More than one satisfied sigh was heard around the
    table as a bottle of whisky appeared.
    "Not quite the good stuff' is it?" Nick smiled at Alanna who had only taken a cautious sip.
    "We should toast the bride with champagne." Jarrod said, "This is the best that they have to
    offer, though."
    "What is champagne?" Alanna asked and took another sip. It wasn't very good and her head
    was already buzzing unpleasantly.
    "Kind like wine, but fizzy. We'll have some when we get home." Nick explained.
    "I would still like to propose a toast..."Jarrod began and stood up. "To the bride. Welcome to
    the Barkley family."
    Heath then stood and Alanna fidgeted a little. "To our new sister, Alanna."
    When Nick stood and raised his glass she was ready to slide under the table. "To my wife."
    "Fer heaven's sake, sit down!" She hissed. "Yer embarrassing me."
    This caused all three brothers to laugh, rather unmercilessly she thought, and to salute her
    with their glasses and drain them.
    They all then traipsed over to the livery stable to fuss over the horses again and then to the
    telegraph office which to no one's amazement was closed.
    "We'll have to wait til tomorrow." Jarrod said philosophically.
    "Tomorrow we start for home." Nick said with finality.
    "Bright and early?" Heath's voice held a trace of a question in it. Nick was limping and it
    seemed to him that Alanna had lost most of her color, though it could be just the effects of
    the setting sun.
    "We'll see." Jarrod said carefully.
    When Nick stumbled slightly, it was Jarrod who reached for him first, giving him support
    while appearing to have a brotherly arm around his shoulders. Alanna pulled her hand back
    slowly. He didn't need her any more. She shivered a bit.
    Heath noticed the shiver and slung his own sheepskin jacket over her and gave an
    encouraging grin which she answered weakly. Nick's felt a quick stab of anger at his brother.
    Alanna was his business. Then he shook his head. Heath was just being brotherly'. That's
    all.
    Once back at the hotel, they ordered some sandwiches and coffee and a whole apple pie to
    the room. It wasn't much of a suite. Just two rooms, one of which had a table to sit at and a
    bed behind a screen and a couple of chairs. The other room boasted a bed which Nick and
    Alanna were to share. Heath and Jarrod would be in the sitting room.'
    Alanna watched the brothers horse around at the dinner table. They were teasing each other,
    but underneath the words and the nudges and elbowing was a need to talk, a need to touch
    one another. Heath had one hand on his brother's shoulder. It was there almost constantly, a
    punctuation of love and caring. Jarrod kept his eyes nailed to his brother's face an almost
    idiot grin plastered on his usual bland countenance. They were so happy to be together. They
    belonged together. She didn't notice the looks sent her way as she kept her face down and
    picked at the food on her plate. She almost jumped when a hand descended on her shoulder.
    "You're not hungry?" Nick looked concerned. "You're kinda quiet."
    "I'm just a little tired Nick." She smiled at the three men. "D'ye mind if I turn in?"She
    turned a little pink as all three men rose to her feet as she got up.She noticed the quick looks
    between the three. "And I don't mind at all that ye want to get on with the talkin'." She
    looked Nick in the eye. "Honest."
    A smile curved on Nick's face and he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "Thank you." he
    whispered in her ear.
    The three men watched as she left the sitting room towards the bedroom.
    "Dang it Nick. Married." Heath shook his head in wonder. It was probably only the twentieth
    time he'd brought that fact up.
    "Honorable under the circumstances." Jarrod said tactfully.
    "Yeah. It was my duty. I owed it to her." Nick fixed his older brother with a steady gaze.
    "We didn't have to, if you mean it that way. Yesterday, it was the first time. _Her_ first time. .
    We didn't do anything to be ashamed of . Got it?"
    "I know that Nick, but people will talk."Jarrod said trying to soothe his brother's ruffled
    feathers.
    "That don't matter." Nick snorted.
    "Yes it will." Heath said quietly. "It's Alanna who will have to listen to the malicious gossip
    and put up with the insults."
    "And we'll be there to defend her." Jarrod cut in before things got ugly. "All of us. The
    whole family."
    The three were silent for a moment.
    "Course Mother will be dissappointed in not having a big wedding ceremony." Jarrod added.
    "She'll just throw a big party instead." Heath said gloomily.
    "Oh God, Alanna will pitch a fit." Nick moaned.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    She didn't mind. Really. Not at all. Nick needed his brothers. She just...no, she wasn't going
    to be some clinging female dependent on a man's presence to feel happy. That would be no
    better than certain chicken-brained females. She crawled into the bed thankfully, curling
    herself into a little ball to get a spot warmed up. Sleeping with Nick was like sleeping next to
    a nice hot stove. She missed the warmth. She missed - him. Alanna grabbed the blanket in
    self disgust and wrappped it fiercely around her. Her feet poked out from the bottom. She sat
    up and pulled it down, then with a supreme example of gravity at work the whole quilt slid
    slowly to the floor to land in a heap. Dammit, she was tired. It wasn't fair. In a minute, she'd
    go out to the stables and sleep next to Charger or Jingo. Horses kept her warm long before
    she'd ever shared a bed with Nick Barkley. She squeezed her eyes tight to keep the burning
    in. Maybe he was tired of her already...
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "Been rough?" Heath ventured. They hadn't talked much about the details of lost couple's
    adventures yet.
    Nick nodded and absentmindedly rubbed his leg. Darn, but it was still sore.
    "Alanna got her arm broke and the shoulder pulled out. Got sick too."
    "You don't look so good yourself little brother." Jarrod looked searchingly at Nick. "And you
    know Mother will find out how bad soon enough, so you can tell us now."
    "Now, Jarrod it wasn't that bad. I was laid up pretty much all of the time, but Alanna took
    good care of me."
    "Then we can go and wake her up and ask her." Heath said staring steadily at his brother.
    "Okay, okay."Nick muttered and glared at his brothers. "Got a bang on the head, cracked a
    few ribs and a pretty deep gash in the leg. Satisfied?" His brother's even gazes didn't change
    a bit. "Was pretty much out of it for the first week. Had to wait to heal before we could get
    out of that hell hole called Heaven." He paused and "and the leg is still infected some and I
    shouldn't be doing too much walking. All right?" He finished sourly.
    "Reckon' we'll have to rent a wagon or a buggy." Heath remarked looking at Jarrod
    questioningly.
    "Um, slower, but I don't think either of them is up to sitting on a horse for three days."
    Jarrod rubbed his jaw thoughtfully.
    "If we go by way of Layfayette we can catch a train to Stockton. Means one night on the trail.
    What do you think?"
    "I think you two are getting a little overcocky!" Nick broke up the dialogue. His brothers
    ignored him.
    "We bring them home in bad shape Mother will have our hides." Jarrod mused.
    "Yeah, but bringing them home quicker will be in our favor." Heath reasoned.
    "We'll talk to the sensible one in the morning." Jarrod said with finality.
    "Yeah, when _she_ wakes up." Heath turned to Nick and grinned. "Right Big Brother?"
    "You two..." Nick raised a finger at his brothers and then dropped it suddenly. "I missed
    you." He said quietly."Be glad to be going home."
    "Yeah." Heath said shortly, but with a wealth of feeling.
    "Yeah." Jarrod echoed with as much depth.
    They were men. Tough men. To accuse them of being sentimental would provoke hoots of
    laughter or scorn. To mention emotional would lead to a fist in the mouth. That didn't mean
    that the feelings weren't there. They were just expressed subtlely, a slap on the shoulder, a
    brotherly hug, a curse or slur on one's character, a faint moistness in the eye that was
    ascribed to dust. They were men.
    "I ah better turn in." Nick finally broke the silence gruffly. "She- ah Alanna - you know my
    wife - well." Lord did he have to explaine it to them? Thankfully they nodded and tried to
    look uninterested.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Nick breathed a sigh of relief as he went into the small room that was theirs. As he waited
    quietly for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, he began to slowly undress. Lord, he was tired.
    He wasn't surprised that Alanna had folded early, though he kinda been hoping that... well
    plenty of time for that later, she was tied to him now. Wife in name and body. He noticed the
    blanket on the floor and the little lump in the middle of the bed.
    "You lost the blanket?" His voice came next to the bed. She had been wallowing in her own
    misery she hadn't heard him come in. He picked it up and tucked it around her. She
    shivered, not exactly from the cold.
    "Ye don't have to look after me, Nick. I can take care of meself." She congratulated herself
    on the steadiness of her voice and glad that the thick quilt hid her trembling limbs.
    "Uh huh." He grunted. "But we had a deal."
    "A deal?" she asked faintly.
    "Remember, I will obey you,hmm occassionally, but you have to let me care for you. Deal.
    Promise. Marriage vows. Remember them?"
    "I was there, too." She said between her teeth, sure that any minute now they would begin to
    chatter. She hadn't been this scared when he'd made love to her for the first time. What was
    frightening her now? No, she wasn't scared. She was just cold. That's all. The same kind of
    deep cold she felt when her mother died. The cold when Da cursed her for being alive and
    her brothers dead. The cold when Michael would raise his hand to strike her.
    "Holy...!" Nick exclaimed as his bare foot touched her leg. She hadn't even heard him
    undressing. "You are freezing. Let me warm you." He gathered her close to him, his hands
    rubbing up and down her back. "Hey! What's the matter? Sweetheart? Why are you crying?"
    " M jest cold. S-so cold." She had been unaware of the tears that were splashing down her
    face. "N-not s-supposed to cry. S-save it fer the rain."
    "You can cry anytime you want, Alanna." Nick began to gently kiss away the tears which for
    some strange reason made her cry even more. Nick tucked her head into his shoulder and
    rocked her like a small hurt child until the sobs became broken sniffles. He took a corner of
    the sheet and wiped her face tenderly.
    "What's wrong? C'mon you can talk to me." Nick gently hugged her, at least her feet were
    warmer now and not like two icy lumps. He found the tender spot on her neck and kissed it
    gently causing her shiver, but not from cold.
    "I jest felt sad." She confessed weakly, letting her hands wander over his chest enjoying the
    tactile feel of his skin under her fingers. It was such a wonder to be close to him like this. She
    felt that funny feeling in the pit of her stomach, the Nick feeling. They became lost for a
    moment in the newfound joy of mutual exploration. Nick tasted the tears on her face.
    "Tell me." He said with a rough tone she'd never heard before. "Is it - _is it Heath_?"
    "Heath?" She asked faintly wondering what Heath had to do with anything. She and Heath
    got along just fine. Of all the family members she felt the most comfortable with him. "I like
    Heath." Is that what he wanted to know? If he'd asked about Jarrod, she'd be hard pressed to
    express an opinion. She felt more in awe of the lawyer and it made her a little nervous to be
    around him.
    "You and Heath have so much in common. He's the one who rescued you from your brother.
    Horses. He kissed you, twice." The last sentence came out almost in a quiet but angry tone.
    If Nick was jealous, that meant that maybe he loved her too. Alanna hesitated, but what if he
    didn't? Nick took the matter out of her hands by exploding.
    "You are mine now, Alanna! There is no going back or wishful thinking about what might of
    been. Mine!" He sealed the vow with a searing kiss that ignited both of them. Their
    lovemaking was tinged with desparacy and need that left them both exhausted and yet
    unsatisfied in their own way.
    If Nick only wanted her as his possession then she would not burden him with her love. It
    was a small price to pay. She wouldn't be lonely anymore.
    He knew, deep inside, that she wasn't attracted to Heath the way she was to him. Maybe it
    was just this physical thing between them. She needed taking care of. That was his job.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    "Tough case." The lawyer said as he poured a shot of whisky for his brother.
    "He's a stubborn cuss. Look how long it took him to warm to me." Heath's grin took the
    potential hurt out of the statement.
    "Wonder how long it will take before he realizes." Jarrod mused.
    "Didn't fool me with all that talk about responsibility and duty." Heath snorted. "He's in love
    with her."
    "And doesn't know it." Jarrod took a swallow of his own stiff drink.
    "God help them both." Heath said fervently, "Cause I think they're gonna need it."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    **AT THE SAME TIME IN LONDON, ENGLAND**
    Fog curled around the gas lamps and muffled and distorted the sounds of the city. London
    was never quiet, not even now at late hour of half-past midnight. The working folk were
    already in their beds, the toffs locked up in their fine houses. Only the lurkers, the ladies of
    the night, the ne'er-do-wells, and the fishmongers were up at this hour.
    A carriage rattled down the cobbled street to disgorge the figure of a buxom woman
    enswathed in a large opera cloak and wearing a pair of rather damp ostrich plumes in her
    hair. She tossed a coin up to the driver with surprising accuracy and rapped sharply on a door
    set to one side of a building. She had seen the lights in the window of the second floor and
    was sure that the man she wanted to see was home.
    It was only some moments later when the lady with undignified haste returned to the waiting
    cab.
    "Home James and don't spare the horses."
    "Oh shut up!" The driver growled in an uncharacteristic American accent.
    
    
    *****
    
    
    Inside the upstairs apartment of 22 Baker Street, two men discussed the visitor.
    "But my dear Holmes how in the devil did you know it was Artemis Gordon?"
    "Elementary my dear Watson." Sherlock homes said smoking his pipe thoughtfully. "His
    Northumbershireland accent was slightly off, giving a distinct impression of a person who
    lived for a long time in the Americas, specifically in the South. While he was wearing gloves,
    his hand was firm and sure like a man used to handling fire arms. He also had slight
    discoloration at the wrist from handling a base chemical."
    "Yes, I saw that. I thought it might have come from bleach." Watson responded.
    "Tish tosh Watson, nobility never wash their own clothes, so it could not have come from
    that. Did you notice the tightly wound kerchief and the wig?"
    "I am afraid it must have slipped my mind." Watson replied, mopping his brow.
    "Details, details dear Watson. Without them we are nothing but lounge chair detectivities,
    stuck in the dreary world of mediocrity." He continued, "However what really gave him away
    was the dress. It was far too low cut for a noble woman and the design itself looked like it
    came from a dockside dens harlot.The only man who has the panache to dress as a woman
    attending the Queen's garden party would have been Artemis Gordon of the United States
    Secret Service."
    "At least he was able to foil the dastardly plot. Imagine the cheek of the bastard, trying to
    poison nobility in the Queen's prescence. Horrifying!" Watson exclaimed turning red from
    emotion.
    "Pity the miscreant escaped." Holmes said thoughtfully. "Back to the Americas, I believe
    with Mr.Gordon and his colleague Mr.West hot on his trail."
    "But why Holmes, why did he do it?"
    "Precedence, my dear Watson. Precedence."
    
    
    *****
    
    
    **SEVERAL MONTHS LATER...**
    The villian squirmed in the chair he found himself slammed into.
    "How'd ye find me?" He said anxiously, his accent thickened with nervousness.
    "Well actually," Artemis Gordon peeled off the fake beard and mustache, "It was a matter of
    deducing why certain horses would lose races and from there a brilliant job of chemical
    analysis to see why they were running so slow, and from there..." He began to wax
    enthusiastic.
    "Artie." His partner James West cut in, "We caught him because he's dumb and we're
    smart."
    "Yes, but James!" Gordon protested and pulled out a large pillow that had added to his bulk.
    "It was a brilliant piece of chemical deduction!"
    "And he's dumb." West eyed the horse nobbler who was nervously running his fingers
    through his curly black hair that was liberally sprinkled with gray.
    "You're never any fun." Gordon pouted. "I work like a dog putting together the clues and you
    never appreciate it. You could at least listen."
    "Aw com'on Artie. Who cares."
    "Well, shoot. I do. All that work might as well be for nothing. Not appreciated or anything."
    Gordon muttered.
    The criminal made a lunge off the chair to make a run for it. Both men whirled with lightning
    speed and he was faced with two six-shooters stuffed up his nostrils.
    "Tchh. You're right Jim." Gordon admitted and slapped a pair of handcuffs on the villain.
    "He is dumb."
    "I'm always right Artie." West grinned infectiously.
    "Wait! I can make ye a deal." The man whined. "I work fer someone. A big boss. He has
    plans."
    "Uh huh." West said and grabbed the man and began to drag him out of the room.
    "It's about the presidence."
    "The President?" West said disbelievingly.
    "No. No, the Precedence."
    Gordon's and West's eyes met over the short man's head.
    "Oh damn. Him again." Artie groaned.
    "Better iron your frock." West said grimly.
    **TO BE CONTINUED IN: "PRECEDENCE" **
    


End file.
